reneemarie

I like how SG has to always change the formatting. No I really do! It keeps me on my fucking toes. Sarcasm? Maybe so, maybe not.

Speaking of sarcasm, 90% of the humans in this shit town are fucking morons. They are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. They don't even understand the concept of sarcasm. I try to keep my mouth shut because people just don't get what I'm trying to say. I wish I was dumb sometimes so I'd fit in more. So I guess I offended a few tards at the bar last night because they took me seriously. One tard was REALLY beginning to piss me off saying how sarcastic people are so annoying and it's so wrong and durrr durrr durrrr so I was like "Look dude, I'm so sorry. That was wrong of me, I've had a bad day and I'm really sorry bs bs bs". Since he was a tard he believed me. HAHA JOKES ON YOU DOUCHEY!!!

I noticed his hottttttttttt hot hot friend next to him and was like *drools* After they kicked us out of the bar we were chillin outside and I was like ME WANT MORE BEER!! So we all went back to Justins place to kick it and drink some more. I love boys with the guns. I always want me tickets to the gun show. I asked if I could feel his arms and *shivers* oh fucking wow. Then find out he's a fucking FIREMAN We talked for a few hours and I just kept falling in drunk love with this guy. I told him how I respect fireman more than anyone, what they do is just amazing and they really are heros. Then I hugged him and thanked him. And he smelled sooooo good. Another one of my weaknesses are boys that smell wonderful. So I kept molesting his arms and hugging him and smelling him and started to feel creepy lol. We went inside and I started tackling those bastard rubix cubes. I tossed it over to him and watched him solve that shit in like 2 minutes.

I kinda wanted him to say something fucked up to piss me off because I'm like omg I love you marry me lol. He doesn't like cheese lol. Or fruity things, he likes chocolate.

We were inside laying down on the floor just talking about death metal and music and I'm so insecure I can never ya know "make the first move" but I couldn't stand it so I put my hands on the sides of his face and kissed him. He kissed me back. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world than with this man of my fucking dreams that just showed up into my life. I was like "How bout we take this party to the bedroom!" So yeah we did end up bangin, we were both drunk and just so into each other. It made me very happy. Then he held me all night, I was cold but his body was so warm. *swoons* I felt so good. I love being held so tightly, he held my hands and petted my back and arms. When we woke up yeah lol we banged again. And were laughing our asses off about dumb weird whacky stuff and took a little nap again and he held me. It was a wonderful ending to a stressful fucked up dramatic day. And it was a wonderful beginning to more drama and bullshit.

I've had so much bad luck with boys/pathetic worthless assholes in this town. I don't wanna get so attached to him so fast but it's like we can totally just hang out and bullshit and not just have sex and that's it. So yeah I just really want someone to have and to hold and to care about me. Yeah it sounds cheesy but I miss that feeling.

He has today off from fighting evil fires in this horrendous heat. I'm gonna take him some food and chocolate and maybe some booze. His dad is pretty fuckin cool too. I'm happy. I hope it lasts. I've always thought I wasn't meant to be happy. Its fucked up but it's kinda true. I've been thru so much BS I'm always waiting to get fucked over again. Bleh.

But I'm happy and living for the moment and it's wonderful

fin.