reneemarie

So I showed up to work today cuz I *was* on schedule, my boss saw me and said "Who are you?" I told him I needed to talk with him in private about a serious personal issue. I could have cried at any moment if I needed to but was on the verge of it. He said usually their policy of 3 days of no call/no show is termination. I had a doctors note but I explained to him truthfully what happened. So as of now I'm on medical leave and am going to get a letter from my psych for him to fax to corporate so their medical whatever people can put it in the system that I'm bat shit insane So *whew* I'm not fired! I was worried I would be. But he said not to discuss this matter with anyone and neither would he. My two wonderful amazing friends I work with are like my adopted grandmas, I told them everything because they were really worried about where I was. I almost started crying when they told me how much of a sweetheart I am and how it brightens their day just to see me being silly everyday. I explained how I just want to die sometimes and I hurt myself and they said yes when you hurt yourself you hurt the people that care about you too. So definitely that's he's got me pumped for of MORE drugs I will calm down with the self harm and anxiety/irritability.

In other news YAY I GOT TATTOOS!!! Tattoos are always good when I'm feelin down!! I got five, he actually touched up 3 of them for free because it pained him to see them looking like shit lol. My rose I've had for 10 years he revived it and it's fucking beautiful. My <3 and \m/ he made perfect. Then he custom drew me an angel and devil hello kitty on my forearms. Wow they are PERFECT. They look like rub on tattooos or something they are amazing The angel has blue highlights with a golden halo and the devil has the evil eyes, red horns and fire coming over and around her head with red highlights. I'll have pics ASAP. They look incredible.

So since this is my own fucking journal and I can write whatever the fuck I want OMG LOST!!!!! I have a lot figured out, at least shit that makes sense to me. I actually cried when Charlie was drowning. Desmond saved him so many times and he knew he just couldn't keep saving him because his card was up. When I stopped crying and messing up my makeup I laughed at him having a Sharpie for god knows how long that wrote underwater

So with that and Survivor over WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN MY PATHETIC LIFE?!?! TV shows are my life. *sobs* I'm just renting a lot of shows on DVD, right now I'm watching up on all of Scrubs and The Office so it'll be all good.

Thank you and goodnight.