renee_glass

So today is my dad's birthday. He was recently diagnosed diabetic so I made him a diabetic hamper for his birthday to remind him there are alternatives to sugar & you can still eat a lot of the stuff you like just made with sweetener instead. Also included a couple of diabetic cook books to help him adjust. I think he liked it

We got to talking about my childhood. Remember the blog about the big fight i had with my mum? More stuff from the past came up that i didnt know. Like the fact my dad had offered to give up work to look after me when they were divorcing but my mum refused. She got custody of me & was at work all the time. I was at home on my own after school every day. My mum used to work 13hr shifts. I was alone a lot. I got badly bullied in high school for being a geek (who's laughing now, bitches) & it was rough coming home to an empty house night after night. I had no-one to talk to. I was very lonely. To hear that my dad had offered to be there for me but my mum wouldnt have it really upset me- knowing that the whole time i was miserable on my own i could have been with my dad & his folks who wouldve supported me, listened to me & encouraged me. Those were such dark times for me. No child should ever have to be lonely. So i've been crying quite a bit today. That was something i wasnt allowed to do around my mum- cry. It made her angry and it was 'weak', 'snivelling', 'pathetic'. I've since learned that is not the case.

So it's been an emotional day.

On the bright side while i was there i managed to freecycle a tv & stand, vcr, digibox & microwave that my dad has been wanting to get rid of. I love freecycle~ helping people who need stuff & keeping stuff out of landfill It makes me happy being positive & productive & helpful. So i guess that's the way forward. Although i needed to cry for the child i was who essentially brought herself up.