remyx

I need a relationship. Not something which lasts a night, or a week, or a month... something lasting, or everlasting, whatever the case may be. I've had two fail in as many months. One really never got off the ground. There were definitely sparks, and a growing chemistry, but I think there were also some questions on both our parts as to whether things would really work (lots of schedule conflicts). I was hoping to put them aside and see where we might go, but she made the decision for the both of us and severed our connection with guillotine precision. I could only roll on the deck and blink til the shock wore off.

The second was a one-nighter (two, actually) that I truly wanted to make into more. She and I actually stayed up and talked for most of the night, then became physical for the rest of the night. The chance may still exist for an "us" to occur, but as the days pass, I feel the negative possibility growing exponentially. The calls and texts I've sent have been turned down politely but in classic fashion. I'll let naivety rule until sensibility takes over.

(edited to add):
got a text a few moments ago. apparently I was a temporary rock during the storm of her questionable relationship, which has now been reconciled. not being egotistical, but I don't think she could have picked a better person to have a fling with. I took a genuine concern for her, listened during the conversation we shared, noticed the hurt in her voice, and gave her pleasure and comfort. Sleeping in someone's arms and waking to their warm embrace is bliss and now I suppose I have one more good memory to look back upon. I still want to scream "WTF?!?!?" into the darkness, but somehow I feel slightly better about the whole ordeal.