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remyx

that place with the roads and the buildings and some traffic lights... oh and a serial killer

Member Since 2004

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Monday Apr 03, 2006

Apr 3, 2006
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the difference between infirmed and healthy is ten-fold. without the icepick in my right eye gouging grey matter mercilessly, i have regained normality, or at least what passes for it at the moment. biggrin

in order to aviod another weekend cooped in the house, i took a road trip to Fayetteville to watch some college baseball. the games were great! getting out in the open air and cheering collectively got the blood going. on Saturday night I made it down to the local 'scene'. in the 5 years i've been away from there, not too much drastic changed had occurred. but within this past year, things are growing so much that i found myself almost lost trying to navigate the new roads, traffic signals, and buildings which have recently been build. i strolled through the numerous bars, taking in the changes. the night was cool and clear, so I ended up sitting outside having a few beers. surrounded by my thoughts and the night air, i took inventory of my current status.

physical health out of the way, now i must attend to my mental well-being. as of late the mind has been wallowing in reflection and a bit of self-pity. regrets of the past and what-ifs surface and litter the waves of synapses breaking in my ocean of consciousness. my certainy is change. i've been a creature of stability too long, and now its time for a storm to move in and cause a bit of chaos. this is not a desire but a necessity. the stagnation of my present situation has left me listless, and through struggle should i find my spark.

of course this is a measured change. i need some direction, some indication of a way to go. so i begin looking, hoping to find a sign of where i might go. this city really holds no significant anchor for me; i could, in truth, go anywhere, granted that i have a job and a place to live. my real catch is that i still want to be able to have my outlet, my passion - fencing. currently, there is nothing in this city and the solitude is eroding my skills. other than these few qualifications, i guess the next thing to do is start searching.

i will post milestones as they are passed. robot
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
reptilia:
Hope the changes you decide on are the right ones to quell your thirst. Jobs are everywhere so hopefully yours will be available elsewhere readily. wink You know, we've been friends for a long time and I have never thought to ask you what you do exactly, besides it involves traveling a bit. Of course, just ignore this if it's prying.

Good luck again on the trek for a better mental well-being and what have you. Wherever it is, I'm sure you'll find it. tongue
Apr 3, 2006
josephene:
It's a scary and exciting beast to battle, taking on any type of change. You have endless support and admiration from my end, my sweet.

I miss you...it's been far too long. I still want that voice for my liners here at the station too... love kiss love kiss
Apr 7, 2006

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