Stacie actually lived two doors down from me during my childhood in Valparaiso, Indiana... she was younger than me, but we had the same birthday, as it turned out. She had a younger brother, while I had a younger brother and sister. As neighbor kids, we played frequently... and as neighbor kids AND neighbor kids with siblings, we fought frequently. Sometimes I wasn't very nice to Stacie. And I'd team up with her brother to antagonize her. And sometimes Stacie wasn't nice to me. And she'd team up with my sister to antagonize me. Shifting loyalties all over the place, too. But never anything truly awful. Forgive us our ages as we forgive those who sass off against us...
We got over all of that eventually as we grew up, of course. I recall that it was when I was first seriously experimenting with self-made Halloween costumes and special effects (I was applying crepe hair to rubber gloves in an effort to create werewolf arms, inspired by my high-school drama lessons) that Stacie (by that time a firm, fast friend of my sister) expressed a genuine interest in what I was doing--and I was happy to show off. The friendship finally fell into proper place. No, she never became my girlfriend or anything like that--but we remained friendly AND respectful of each other from then on. That lasted until we went our separate ways and lost touch (I moved to California in the mid-1980s).
Well, whaddya know... Facebook really CAN live up to its promise. Less than a year ago, Stacie reconnected with me (and with my sister, of course). She told me all about her husband and their children (I told her all about my family as well), we talked about theatre, about old times, about the works. What a pleasant surprise--what a warm and sincere correspondence.
And a couple of months ago, she popped up with a bright, cheery announcement about how she was headed to her first chemo treatment! She asked us to wish her luck, spelled out her plans for the sort of wig she wanted when her hair fell out... all the usual fun. Naturally, I wished her well and gave her plenty of encouragement as she headed down the road I've seen so many of us take.
Her bright spirit and cheerful tone convinced me that it wasn't going to be such a terrible ordeal after all... it had to be something they caught in time and were going to nip in the bud, right?
Except this morning I received a message from another one of my sister's friends (and she really WAS the girl next door).
http://www.heraldargus.com/articles/2010/09/29/obituaries/doc4ca258600c6ef747247863.txt
My friends, I'm a medical coder by profession. And I've entered the dreaded code "185.0" into more care plans than I care to remember. Each and every patient's chart crosses my desk, so they're not just statistics to me--I read (and vicariously experience) each and every one of their stories. Every one's a real person... some I know, some I don't, but they're all real. And yet they rarely hit me like this one did. So young--so full of life--such a true friend after all these years.
I really don't know what to say next.
Rest in peace, Stacie. It wasn't right--it wasn't fair... but then again, it never is. My love and condolences to all you left behind.
Your friend always,
Shane
To your blog:: I'm terribly sorry about your loss. I'm in nursing school and have already watched a few people code. It's even sadder to me when they are DNR patients and there is NOTHING you can do. But having a friend pass away or someone close is COMPLETELY different. It's sad to watch people go, even people you know, but it's even worse when it's someone you were close to. So with that, I'm very sorry to hear this news.
And YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME for being a REAL parent and supporting your daughter. I had several friends participate in national coming out day. I'm bi. but didn't post it on my status. And the saddest reason, is more so because of my mother. When I was 14 I had a girlfriend and someone told my mom. She freaked. I mean flipped. And forbade me to see her. The girl and I stayed together for a little while, but we just became friends because it became too much of a hassle. Sometimes I really do wish my parents could accept me for who I am. And that isn't just referring to the bisexual thing. So seriously, you're awesome.
And great choice of pictures to show off for the new sets.
Thank you for everything you do for this site, and for actually being a caring human being. It's a sad world, perhaps, when something such as this would have to be recognized, but there ya go. What you've said in your blog about your family, and your support ... we could use more people like this.
Okay, so all that sentimental shit aside ... nice new sets! Hehe
Especialy with this post; there were several that look like they're gonna be great.