relethed

sigh.

wtf

what's the point.
what does this matter.
nothing changes, i don't change, circumstances don't change.

oh, the melodrama, and no meaning

what do i think i'm building? who will see it? what good is a piece of work that only attracts cobwebs?
if only i could start life at a different time, all by myself, on a different planet.

with sky blue water, and barrier reefs, and fruit trees. i could swim all day in bath-temperature water, hear the swishing of the ocean against my skin. i could walk through the trees, and smell the overripe fruit rotting on the ground. i could fly through clouds and feel the water droplets beading on my skin, while looking down on shining, white crescents of beach.
i could shiver beneath the open sky, from the sight of too many stars for my eyes to focus on, instead of from cold. i could fall asleep with a smile on my face.
i wouldn't feel alone, because i wouldn't be always reminded of Others nearby, but not with me.