Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

rejoicingpeasant

chi-town (northwest side repreSENT)

Member Since 2005

Followers 84 Following 36

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Saturday Feb 18, 2006

Feb 17, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
something is very wrong.

i feel no familiarity with.. anything. something tells me there's no escaping, and that i might wake up tomorrow morning with a new life and body; a new past i can tap into. some pre-woven tapestry i just don't seem to connect with. and i know that no matter how different this life may be, i think i'll think and feel exactly as i do now. lost isn't the right word. disconnected, maybe.

nothing can comfort me tonight. there's a three-finger bag of dro six inches from my keyboard. i have no desire whatsoever to smoke it. i don't want to watch television. music will just overwhelm me. everything is fake.

i even tried to will myself into a coma. i think i almost made it too, damn self awareness. i'm not numb. my insides are trembling like jello. i haven't slept in 29 hours, and my body just won't rest. my eyes force themselves open every time i close them. i think that maybe some part of me is afraid that if i DO fall asleep, i won't wake up.

sadly enough, this notion is my only means of ease. what an awkwardly structured fucking sentence. did that even make sense? i don't recognize the words i'm typing.

did i mention i'm stone-fucking sober? shit, i have work tomorrow. i wonder what'd happen if i came in on no sleep. i wonder if they'd let me go. god, i'm lazy.

when you tell your life story, do you ever feel like you're telling someone else's?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jonnytrrrash7:
I think we all get/feel disembodied sometimes, I hope you come back soon!
Feb 18, 2006
tadzi:
i really truly know what you mean...ive had those moments of clarity as well, and its scary.
Feb 18, 2006

More Blogs

  • 09.08.05
    7

    Thursday Sep 08, 2005

    So I think I've had enough people put me down in my life. I refuse to…
  • 09.04.05
    5

    Sunday Sep 04, 2005

    so.. i suppose things are better. i'm being optimistic. i'm gettin…
  • 08.29.05
    8

    Monday Aug 29, 2005

    Read More
  • 08.28.05
    3

    Sunday Aug 28, 2005

    Read More
  • 08.23.05
    10

    Tuesday Aug 23, 2005

    Read More
  • 08.22.05
    4

    Monday Aug 22, 2005

    mmhmm. supertramp's where it's at, folks. in seven minutes, my …
  • 08.19.05
    1

    Friday Aug 19, 2005

    i found my mom's old free to be you and me book! she used to read me…
  • 08.15.05
    6

    Monday Aug 15, 2005

    well, um.. my mom called this morning. my grandma passed away yeste…
  • 08.13.05
    4

    Saturday Aug 13, 2005

    for the ladies: so i did a little beauty experiment. i was stoned o…
  • 08.11.05
    6

    Thursday Aug 11, 2005

    conversation in the car yesterday with bob. me: aw, no dude! i ha…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
9
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,514 followers
  • 14,920,612 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,392,861 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo