I dom't really know how to start this post, cause right now im felling a bit sad and defeated, so I just need to get all of that of my chest...
You know that feeling when you know that in some part of your life bad things are gonna happen, and you're preparing for them, and even though you're prepared in your head, it's still painfull when it happens? Yeah...
I've been dealing with diabetes for 22 years now(tipe 1, insulin addict) and I have always kept it under control. Ive never had bigger complications (except three times hypoglicemic coma and just hypo-hyper glicemic ups and downs that comes from time to time, and all of that comes with that like extreme tierdness, blurry vision, shivering...) and I from time to time just forget what are long term complications dealing with that "silent killer" as they call diabetes.
A week ago I started noticing changes in vision in my right eye. I've always had bad vision on my left eye but my right eye was quite ok. And now, I started seenig like little spots and "worms"floating in my field of view. And i didn't get much worried because that happened to me like two or three times before and after a few weeks that spots would dissapear. This time, my vision get more blurry with each day. It culminated two days ago, and to skip nasty description of what happened in my eye, right now I have eye fundus full of blood wich will maybe eventually go away, and maybe not. So, im bassicaly blind (I can see like diferences in colors, but I can't recognize shapes) on right eye right now, and there are big chances that it is permanent. I'll have to go on laser treatments to see will it get better in a time.
What worries me the most is that my college, my work, all that I've been doing in past few years, I can forget on all of that if my blindness is permanent. Im just so dissapointed and angry, because I was prepared that it will happen in some point of life but not now. not when im only 24 years old. Not when I have so much to do in front of me...
Im still hoping that it maybe will be better in time. Maybe I will be lucky enough and in a few months my vision will started to get better and I will be able to continue all the stuff that I started.
Right now, for past few hours, im practicing on putting on my make up half blind xD I'll just try to not let all of that get me down...I have to hope for the best.
