You may notice that in my 6th hopeful suicidegirls set, I have a cane incorporated. I'm currently reaching a milestone. Six years of being a stroke survivor! I had to relearn to walk, talk, and use my right arm again. (Prior to my stroke, I achieved my degrees in early childhood development, elementary education, and psychology. I miss teaching everyday. Although I'm grateful to be part of this community. ) I'm incredibly tenacious. I believe there is beauty in strength and fortitude. Fortunately, I had a great speech therapist. The process was both challenging and fascinating to me. I have a degree in child development. Therefore, I've taught fine and gross motor skills to children. Then as an adult, I was set to the task of relearning everything, right down to puckering my lips. My occupational therapist assisted me in relearning to do things, allowing me to function in my home better. My physical therapist has been an amazing, throughout my recovery! It turns out walking again isn't as easy as it looks. Especially with a preexisting rare migraine/vertigo condition, as well as nerve damage pain. My nerve damage initially, caused my arm to atrophied. Basically it was curled up, like one of my fur baby pugs tails. It was almost unnatural, because there were bones there...it caused me to have tremors which were also very painful. I eventually started to ice pack my arm and hand and they gradually improved. I still have constant nerve damage pain, that unfortunately will never go away. Although, I'm grateful that tremors only come on when I've pushed my system too far. Luckily there's one amazing plant that assists with most of my symptoms. I do hold a medicinal card, and when I need to get my system back on track, it does an amazing job in assisting my functioning and ability to deal with my pain. Unfortunately, I haven't been out of pain due to migraines since 2002. I know that seems surreal, and it is. I typically am at a pain of a 7 to 10++++. Anything that hurts below a 7, I don't even mention anymore. Initially my physical therapist and in home aide, were with me for a year and a half. I worked almost every single day with one of the therapist brought in to assist me in my stroke recovery. My body was altered due to the stroke. Additional things occurred due to it. For example, I went from walking my fur babies aka dogs multiple times a day, to being on a walker. I went from a size 2, well to the fabulous hourglass figure, I now have. So you can thank my stroke for allowing some of my best assets to grow. There was a period of time when I was healthy enough to go to outpatient physical therapy. I was able to get on a cane, and drive again. During this time I was able to do extra spots in commercials, flyers, web series, got a part in an indie film, and also be part of the protesters on Succession, session 2, episode 9. The freedom and independence it offered me again was liberating.
Then about a year ago, I tried a new FDA approved migraine injectable. I hoped it would be the answer to reducing my migraines, more significantly, than the injectable I already receive as off label treatment. Unfortunately, my neurologist proceeded to give me 3 injections, instead of 1 injection. I knew immediately something was wrong. It wasn't long, until I absolutely had to seek emergency treatment. Which is something I very rarely do, even with my health issues. When they heard I was given 3 injections they were very alarmed. As a result, my system took a major hit. Causing me to require physical therapy in house again. Fortunately, I was able to get my original physical therapist to work with me again. So 3 days a week, I continue to push towards my goals, with my physical therapist by my side. She has helped me get groceries during the pandemic. She has been one of the only people I had into my home during the pandemic, with the all important face mask on. (Please stay safe if you're out and about. There are many companies producing face masks, in a variety of themes, for all ages and genders.) So I currently hope to get back on my cane to feel steady enough to do stairs, drive, and many other things I will admit I took for granted before my stroke. Now, I try to look at each day and think...What can I do, as opposed to what I can't do. I will admit that it isn't always easy. I was independently minded throughout my life, and very goal oriented. I will admit that directly after my stroke and nerve damage, 6yrs ago, that my right side was impaired so it wasn't the cutest I have ever looked. People in my life were very vocal about it, and for a period of time it did make me slightly self conscious, when the symptoms arose. Family and friends should be supportive, and not put someone down for being handicappable. Something I was having to adjust to and accept myself. I prefer to call myself handicappable, because that is how I see myself and many others! We may be struggling, but we haven't given up. Teacher to tattoo model, totally normal transition. 😘
That's why, when @rambo recruited me to join this community of diverse, alt models, and the wonderful community that supports us. I decided to join. I had no modeling experience prior to joining. The sets allow me a creative outlet, that allows me to feel empowered. I'm so grateful to this wonderful community. I appreciate any support shown on my 6 hopeful sets, live feeds, videos, and my blog entries. As I try to reach my goal of turning pink and becoming an Official SG, turning out hopeful sets since 2017. Ironically, my 6th set with my cane incorporated for the first time, is in member review at the 6yr anniversary mark of my stroke. Something I didn't plan when it was shot back 6 to 7 months ago. I'm proof that you can be smart, sexy, fun, fierce, sweet, sassy, temptress, classy, and handicappable. I have another set due out in a month. Making it my 7th hopeful set. Please show love to my 6 hopeful sets. I truly am a pain warrior as one of my tattoos says. Now where it's located on my body?...Well that's up to you to find. I'm grateful to every helping hand along the way and every positive interaction. To all of the photographers, who have gone out of their way to ensure I can turn in a great collaborations, I appreciate you very much! More than words can express. I had such a fun experience shooting with @sunshine for both my 4th and hopefully an upcoming SGH set, as well as for the #420pinups, which she also hosted. I have actually shot 3 SGH sets in one night and continued into the next morning, with the help of @chadnovak and his wifey, who has been incredible to me! Shooting 5 sets for me already. Two of which are currently in member review! It's a big deal for me to have 2 sets in member review at the same time. It's the second time I've achieved that goal. I definitely push my body to achieve my goals, to the best of my abilities. Fortunately, I took classic dance classes growing up, allowing me to move in ways that I may not be able to otherwise. So thank you for allowing this handicappable, winged wonder, and fallen angel to be a part of this wonderful community of tattooed dolls. I hope you find my sets alluring and pleasing. Many more to come! Hopefully someday I will turn pink, at which point I will live feed myself getting the amazing SG logo tattooed onto my lovely canvas. Here's hoping. 4 more sets have been accepted and one more should be turned in soon. ✌💗🦋
@rambo @missy Thank you for everything!
