It is now apparent to me that my co-worker is the antichrist.
reason #1) he spent all day snorting back some horrible and nastilly viscous nasal fluid / hell-mucus. I can only assume that this is the same kind of snot that demons have in their noses. A lesser man would have broken at 10am and shreiked "OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, USE A FUCKING KLEENEX", but my will is that of iron, my patience alone is enough to earn canonization, my resolve is of biblical proportions.
reason #2) he willfully and knowingly put an Edie Brickell song in my head. Edie Motherfucking Brickell.
That's when I realized what I am up against.
<-- that's the face you're making right now, the "holy shit, Red has to spend 8 hours a day sitting next to Hellspawn. May the Lord have mercy on his soul" face.
Tomorrow, I'm going to make a circle of salt around my desk and keep all of those malign entities from messing with me. If anything/one tries to cross the salt, they're in for a Holy Face-punchin', lumberjack style.
And I'm going to get the kosher sea salt that's imported from Israel, I figure that's much better at dealing with nasties than the regular Sifto stuff.
reason #1) he spent all day snorting back some horrible and nastilly viscous nasal fluid / hell-mucus. I can only assume that this is the same kind of snot that demons have in their noses. A lesser man would have broken at 10am and shreiked "OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, USE A FUCKING KLEENEX", but my will is that of iron, my patience alone is enough to earn canonization, my resolve is of biblical proportions.
reason #2) he willfully and knowingly put an Edie Brickell song in my head. Edie Motherfucking Brickell.
That's when I realized what I am up against.
<-- that's the face you're making right now, the "holy shit, Red has to spend 8 hours a day sitting next to Hellspawn. May the Lord have mercy on his soul" face.
Tomorrow, I'm going to make a circle of salt around my desk and keep all of those malign entities from messing with me. If anything/one tries to cross the salt, they're in for a Holy Face-punchin', lumberjack style.
And I'm going to get the kosher sea salt that's imported from Israel, I figure that's much better at dealing with nasties than the regular Sifto stuff.