so, my last post was a bunch of bitching about small town life, right? today i was planning on writing about the stuff i do enjoy about living here right now, but after what happened last night i just can't do that, folks.
this is what happened:
jo lee spent the night last night and we are sleeping soundly when all of a sudden at 1AM the dogs of the house all start barking and going ape shit. i woke up and whispered to her "does it sound like someone's walking around the house?" we just laid there listening, when some dude walks into my room. i am just about ready to piss myself when the guy lights up the lighter he's holding, illuminating his face. lo and behold it's my ex-boyfriend from over two fucking years ago!!! my first reaction is of course to jump up and beat the shit out of him. jo lee (a saucy don't-fuck-with-me-bitch-red-head) just yells "get the FUCK out of here, randy!". and i would have followed suit but i was thinking "if this asshole's hopped up on blow and booze this could get scary if i'm mean to him". so i calmly ask him what in the fuck he is doing in my parents house at 1 in the morning. he says he called three times tonight and then starts bitching because i never return his calls since i've been back in town. TAKE A FUCKING HINT! i would have liked to told him that but instead i replied, "well, i've been fucking busy with two jobs, family, etc, etc,"
i was just so dumbstruck to have woken up in the middle of the night to this maniac in my bedroom. so i said, "let me walk you out, it's fucking late and you better not have woken my parents up."
he tried to keep talking to me on my front porch but finally i just said goodbye and shut the goddamn door in his face.
needless to say i couldn't go back to sleep. i feel so grateful that jo lee was there with me. i'm also grateful that my DAD didn't wake up and beat the dude's ass! actually, that would've been kinda cool...
i just keep thinking that this poor bastard must be crazy. who in their right mind would do something like that? i'm in shock. i feel so sad for him. he's just another fucking loser who's stuck in this town and well on his way to destroying his mind, body, and soul with drugs.
man, i only thought i didn't like sleeping alone. now i'm terrified of it. if only i could convince jo lee to sleep with me every night!
lesson learned:
despite living in a small town, you have to lock your fucking door.
now for some good news:
*just bought tickets to see EELS on the 9th -though someone will be sorely missed that evening
*have convinced jo lee to join suicidegirls! as soon as she's a bona fide member i expect you all to go kiss her ass!
p.s. does someone want to be my ninjacool body gaurd? i'm now taking resumes
this is what happened:
jo lee spent the night last night and we are sleeping soundly when all of a sudden at 1AM the dogs of the house all start barking and going ape shit. i woke up and whispered to her "does it sound like someone's walking around the house?" we just laid there listening, when some dude walks into my room. i am just about ready to piss myself when the guy lights up the lighter he's holding, illuminating his face. lo and behold it's my ex-boyfriend from over two fucking years ago!!! my first reaction is of course to jump up and beat the shit out of him. jo lee (a saucy don't-fuck-with-me-bitch-red-head) just yells "get the FUCK out of here, randy!". and i would have followed suit but i was thinking "if this asshole's hopped up on blow and booze this could get scary if i'm mean to him". so i calmly ask him what in the fuck he is doing in my parents house at 1 in the morning. he says he called three times tonight and then starts bitching because i never return his calls since i've been back in town. TAKE A FUCKING HINT! i would have liked to told him that but instead i replied, "well, i've been fucking busy with two jobs, family, etc, etc,"
i was just so dumbstruck to have woken up in the middle of the night to this maniac in my bedroom. so i said, "let me walk you out, it's fucking late and you better not have woken my parents up."
he tried to keep talking to me on my front porch but finally i just said goodbye and shut the goddamn door in his face.
needless to say i couldn't go back to sleep. i feel so grateful that jo lee was there with me. i'm also grateful that my DAD didn't wake up and beat the dude's ass! actually, that would've been kinda cool...
i just keep thinking that this poor bastard must be crazy. who in their right mind would do something like that? i'm in shock. i feel so sad for him. he's just another fucking loser who's stuck in this town and well on his way to destroying his mind, body, and soul with drugs.
man, i only thought i didn't like sleeping alone. now i'm terrified of it. if only i could convince jo lee to sleep with me every night!
lesson learned:
despite living in a small town, you have to lock your fucking door.
now for some good news:
*just bought tickets to see EELS on the 9th -though someone will be sorely missed that evening
*have convinced jo lee to join suicidegirls! as soon as she's a bona fide member i expect you all to go kiss her ass!
p.s. does someone want to be my ninjacool body gaurd? i'm now taking resumes
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
elicit77:
So, ok I'm not beatin around the bush anymore, when are we going on date. BTW, your ex sounds creepy, you don't have that kind of person here, where I live. Anyway, i'm tired from boatin around the lake. Hope everything is going good.
tbsheets:
A pox on me for introducing such a chimera or anything not blissfull into your nocturnal reverie.