ok we all know the post times are west coast usa times, right? well... i live near niagara falls, and that made it after midnight here when i posted last night. it was also after i had seen a sad movie, and had a few drinks. that is what it took for me to be able to think about pixie.
spott told me last week that pixie came to visit her at work with her baby--who is growing up and i'm missing it. she seemed ok. at the time, i just went quiet because i knew if i talked about it with her i would be in tears, and we were on our way out someplace where a teary, ugly (honestly that is the only time i see myself as really ugly--when i cry) firefae would not have been appropriate. so i changed the subject and went on with my day, tucking it away into the back of my head to deal with when i had the alone time.
i didn't really expect it to hit me as soon as it did, if only because i'm fairly slow in that department, but the combination of already being sad from the movie--yes, i know it is only a movie, but the point is to feel it's emotion, right?--and having a couple drinks, and talking to Zenfinite about friends and lovers... made me miss her all over again, made me hate her husband all over again, and made me crazy that she is still with him..... all over again. she was my best friend, and i've not said a word to her (as per my previously voiced intention) since i moved out of the apartment we shared.
on the way back from canandaigua a couple weeks ago, spott asked me "if {pixie} left her husband and stayed away from him, would you talk to her?". i told her "yes, because the condition for me not talking to her would be gone."
lighter notes--
ITS SUNDAY AND I FINALLY HAVE A FRIGGIN DAY OFF!!! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!
going from 32 scattered hours a week to 40+ in one haul has been a little bit of a challenge. i'm still trying to figure out when i sleep and when i work. i'm starting to wake up earlier on my own, though, and that is a plus! now that i've come to the realization that my store is retarded, it is a little easier to make myself go back daily because i know what to expect for the most part.
spotty and i have half-plans to go to the taste of buffalo this afternoon after she gets out of work. i think i might try to convince her to do six flags instead--if i am going to be someplace crowded and hot, i might as well be someplace with a waterpark! anyway, we have season passes as well as a parking pass, and we have to make them worth our money, right?
i am off to get another cup of tea and then take a shower. i really do have a clear shower curtain
.
later!
♥ firefae
edit: 11:49am EST. i have found bathing bliss in a bar soap called savon de~luxe fragranced rosemary mint. <swoons>
spott told me last week that pixie came to visit her at work with her baby--who is growing up and i'm missing it. she seemed ok. at the time, i just went quiet because i knew if i talked about it with her i would be in tears, and we were on our way out someplace where a teary, ugly (honestly that is the only time i see myself as really ugly--when i cry) firefae would not have been appropriate. so i changed the subject and went on with my day, tucking it away into the back of my head to deal with when i had the alone time.
i didn't really expect it to hit me as soon as it did, if only because i'm fairly slow in that department, but the combination of already being sad from the movie--yes, i know it is only a movie, but the point is to feel it's emotion, right?--and having a couple drinks, and talking to Zenfinite about friends and lovers... made me miss her all over again, made me hate her husband all over again, and made me crazy that she is still with him..... all over again. she was my best friend, and i've not said a word to her (as per my previously voiced intention) since i moved out of the apartment we shared.
on the way back from canandaigua a couple weeks ago, spott asked me "if {pixie} left her husband and stayed away from him, would you talk to her?". i told her "yes, because the condition for me not talking to her would be gone."
lighter notes--
ITS SUNDAY AND I FINALLY HAVE A FRIGGIN DAY OFF!!! WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!
going from 32 scattered hours a week to 40+ in one haul has been a little bit of a challenge. i'm still trying to figure out when i sleep and when i work. i'm starting to wake up earlier on my own, though, and that is a plus! now that i've come to the realization that my store is retarded, it is a little easier to make myself go back daily because i know what to expect for the most part.
spotty and i have half-plans to go to the taste of buffalo this afternoon after she gets out of work. i think i might try to convince her to do six flags instead--if i am going to be someplace crowded and hot, i might as well be someplace with a waterpark! anyway, we have season passes as well as a parking pass, and we have to make them worth our money, right?
i am off to get another cup of tea and then take a shower. i really do have a clear shower curtain
.
later!
♥ firefae
edit: 11:49am EST. i have found bathing bliss in a bar soap called savon de~luxe fragranced rosemary mint. <swoons>
[Edited on Jul 10, 2005 12:28PM]
I'm thinking you a kiss - and one for Spott too, of course. Perhaps you could exchange kisses for me so that you can both feel them?