for some reason i was not allowed to post for days. i'm trying this one more time. if it works, then Ava i jumped the gun... i know for certain, though, that i only bought 3 months, and this says i started in august. i dun get it.
anyway, i'm still alive, and i am starting to do better. everything that has happened is hitting me in waves where i will just sit down and sob. it works for me, though, considering i was completely numb and in shock for the better part of last week. i'd rather feel. like i posted on abyssia's journal yesterday...
~give me life, give me pain, give me myself again~
--tori amos
...i believe those things go together, and i am actually appreciative of all of them in me right now.
i have a huge jumble of other things going on right now too. i have a job lined up at a copymax right now, which isn't bad, but management doesn't want to start me until they have a full time position for me. i think the district manager remembers me, and that is certainly a good thing. she was awesome, and within the first month i was working at a copymax before, she had offered me a full time supervisor position when one came open. at the time i declined, because i only needed the part time paycheck, but i am certain she remembers that conversation. that would FUCKING ROCK if i could get a supervisor position. for now, though, full time floater works for me!
other things... pale girl and i are moving into our apartment this week, but just as friends and flatmates. well, friends with benefits may eventually come into it, but at this point i am avoiding relationships like the plague. i think she is too. which is part of where spott comes in... that girl... just damn.
maybe i should explain a little again about spott. she has an attractive personality, she has a completely sexy attitude and a certain coyness (she shivers and looks away when i wink at her), and she is entirely shy. she also has the most gorgeous eyes (dark blue-grey that turns green when... well let's just say most of the time she's around me
), and a smile that takes "cute" to "beautiful". now keep in mind she is shy... therefore she has been hiding from the world behind big t-shirts and jeans for a long time. she has been uncomfortable wearing anything close against her skin (because she is bigger than "model beauty"), and she has been afraid to even get herself a pretty bra that fits.
so here's the fun part. sunday during the day the 3 of us went to froggie's house to start getting me packed up. they had decided beforehand that i was to be abducted afterward for much fun and a night in a hotel. we got done at the house, brought my future brother-in-law's truck back to him here at my sister's, dropped off pale girl's baby with grandma & grandpa, and headed to the hotel. pale girl and i got dressed to go out, and somewhere near being ready spott said "you know, everyone is going to be thinking *who the hell is that girl with those 2 hot girls?*". pale girl and i took that as an invitation to drag her to the mall which, incidentally, was right across the street
.
we got her into express, and i was the "fashion consultant". it usually works that way with my friends, especially when they are willing participants to leave "wallflower hiding from the world" for "i'm a woman and i damn well like it that way". so yeah, i thought express would be good since that store generally has clothes that are simple lines--and they only go up to a XL/16, so spott wouldn't even have the opportunity to pick up a shirt that would be too big for her. that makes me crazy, hot girls with curves hiding behind clothes that are too big. THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE--CHANGE IT OR BE CONFIDENT ABOUT IT! ok done with the rant. since my brother works right next door at expressmen, i enlisted his help to get her a new shirt. a young gay man is always a comfort when clothes shopping. i asked him to find a long sleeve v-neck shirt with simple lines that wasn't girly, but still feminine. we found 2, and sent them with spott into the dressing room. she bought both--they were on sale--and looked AWESOME in them! only problem was she didn't have a bra that worked underneath...
with barely a squeek, spott followed us to victoria's secret. i love that store--overpriced, for the most part, but anyplace i can feel like a freak and completely sexy is a GOOD PLACE. it DID take a little bit of pushing and pulling to get spott all the way to the back (which is where i headed right away) where i had told the cashier that spott needed to be sized for a bra. spott was mildly disgruntled, but still smiling, and she ended up buying what she tried on.
we just HAPPENED to park by the door nearest the mall bathrooms, and on the way out, spotty changed into her new clothes. she looked FUCKING HOT. i will have pics soon, but seeing as she won't even put a pic of her own self on her journal, i seriously doubt she will let me post any.
from there we went to TGIF, which was nice because it was pretty neutral and wouldn't have too many people staring at the hot threesome, and got some dinner. well, and some bigass strawberry daquiries... at one point, when pale girl was in the bathroom, i asked spott what she really thought of her new pink v-neck shirt (which incidentally was exactly the same color as the rose quartz pendant i made for her), and she said she was uncomfortable that it touched her skin wherever it was. she didn't like that it showed the size of her arms, or that she has great boobs, or that it was actually on her (and i quote) "jelly roll". *rant continues* i had to explain to her that real women are supposed to have curves. we are supposed to be soft, we are supposed to have tits and ass, and whatever fat comes in between, because that is how we are made! i'm not strictly a BBW fan, but i will admit i lean that way. for me as long as a woman looks like she would be soft to the touch, and has the attitude, i am all for lookin. and damn did spott look good that night...
(no drooly smiley makes me sad)
to make the rest of this book short, after dinner we went and got pale girl's baby, stopped back here to make sure my sis & her man knew i wouldn't be home, hit the grocery store for some low-proof alcohol, pretzels, rediwhip, and cherries, and then went back to the hotel where much fun ensued. if any of you haven't tried seagram's pink dragon--it is YUMMY. since spott is the cavedragon and one of her "on" colors is pink, well... let's just say there were MANY interesting comments made. over the course of the night, there was much wrestling (the pg-13 rated sort, and i didn't stand a damn chance. i kept getting the hell out of the way), much laughing and giggling, and i was attacked with the rediwhip and cherries. there was no sex involved, but hot damn i was ready to tumble SOMEBODY. i know both pale girl and spott were ready too. having the weird situation we have, though, nothing happened but my first real crash of the day...
anyway, i'm off. it is really fuckin cool i could still post, but i'm not sure how long that will last. there is more to tell but later...
♥
firefae
anyway, i'm still alive, and i am starting to do better. everything that has happened is hitting me in waves where i will just sit down and sob. it works for me, though, considering i was completely numb and in shock for the better part of last week. i'd rather feel. like i posted on abyssia's journal yesterday...
~give me life, give me pain, give me myself again~
--tori amos
...i believe those things go together, and i am actually appreciative of all of them in me right now.
i have a huge jumble of other things going on right now too. i have a job lined up at a copymax right now, which isn't bad, but management doesn't want to start me until they have a full time position for me. i think the district manager remembers me, and that is certainly a good thing. she was awesome, and within the first month i was working at a copymax before, she had offered me a full time supervisor position when one came open. at the time i declined, because i only needed the part time paycheck, but i am certain she remembers that conversation. that would FUCKING ROCK if i could get a supervisor position. for now, though, full time floater works for me!
other things... pale girl and i are moving into our apartment this week, but just as friends and flatmates. well, friends with benefits may eventually come into it, but at this point i am avoiding relationships like the plague. i think she is too. which is part of where spott comes in... that girl... just damn.
maybe i should explain a little again about spott. she has an attractive personality, she has a completely sexy attitude and a certain coyness (she shivers and looks away when i wink at her), and she is entirely shy. she also has the most gorgeous eyes (dark blue-grey that turns green when... well let's just say most of the time she's around me
), and a smile that takes "cute" to "beautiful". now keep in mind she is shy... therefore she has been hiding from the world behind big t-shirts and jeans for a long time. she has been uncomfortable wearing anything close against her skin (because she is bigger than "model beauty"), and she has been afraid to even get herself a pretty bra that fits.
so here's the fun part. sunday during the day the 3 of us went to froggie's house to start getting me packed up. they had decided beforehand that i was to be abducted afterward for much fun and a night in a hotel. we got done at the house, brought my future brother-in-law's truck back to him here at my sister's, dropped off pale girl's baby with grandma & grandpa, and headed to the hotel. pale girl and i got dressed to go out, and somewhere near being ready spott said "you know, everyone is going to be thinking *who the hell is that girl with those 2 hot girls?*". pale girl and i took that as an invitation to drag her to the mall which, incidentally, was right across the street
.
we got her into express, and i was the "fashion consultant". it usually works that way with my friends, especially when they are willing participants to leave "wallflower hiding from the world" for "i'm a woman and i damn well like it that way". so yeah, i thought express would be good since that store generally has clothes that are simple lines--and they only go up to a XL/16, so spott wouldn't even have the opportunity to pick up a shirt that would be too big for her. that makes me crazy, hot girls with curves hiding behind clothes that are too big. THAT IS WHAT YOU HAVE--CHANGE IT OR BE CONFIDENT ABOUT IT! ok done with the rant. since my brother works right next door at expressmen, i enlisted his help to get her a new shirt. a young gay man is always a comfort when clothes shopping
. i asked him to find a long sleeve v-neck shirt with simple lines that wasn't girly, but still feminine. we found 2, and sent them with spott into the dressing room. she bought both--they were on sale--and looked AWESOME in them! only problem was she didn't have a bra that worked underneath...
with barely a squeek, spott followed us to victoria's secret. i love that store--overpriced, for the most part, but anyplace i can feel like a freak and completely sexy is a GOOD PLACE. it DID take a little bit of pushing and pulling to get spott all the way to the back (which is where i headed right away) where i had told the cashier that spott needed to be sized for a bra. spott was mildly disgruntled, but still smiling, and she ended up buying what she tried on.
we just HAPPENED to park by the door nearest the mall bathrooms, and on the way out, spotty changed into her new clothes. she looked FUCKING HOT. i will have pics soon, but seeing as she won't even put a pic of her own self on her journal, i seriously doubt she will let me post any.
from there we went to TGIF, which was nice because it was pretty neutral and wouldn't have too many people staring at the hot threesome, and got some dinner. well, and some bigass strawberry daquiries... at one point, when pale girl was in the bathroom, i asked spott what she really thought of her new pink v-neck shirt (which incidentally was exactly the same color as the rose quartz pendant i made for her), and she said she was uncomfortable that it touched her skin wherever it was. she didn't like that it showed the size of her arms, or that she has great boobs, or that it was actually on her (and i quote) "jelly roll". *rant continues* i had to explain to her that real women are supposed to have curves. we are supposed to be soft, we are supposed to have tits and ass, and whatever fat comes in between, because that is how we are made! i'm not strictly a BBW fan, but i will admit i lean that way. for me as long as a woman looks like she would be soft to the touch, and has the attitude, i am all for lookin. and damn did spott look good that night...
(no drooly smiley makes me sad)
to make the rest of this book short, after dinner we went and got pale girl's baby, stopped back here to make sure my sis & her man knew i wouldn't be home, hit the grocery store for some low-proof alcohol, pretzels, rediwhip, and cherries, and then went back to the hotel where much fun ensued. if any of you haven't tried seagram's pink dragon--it is YUMMY. since spott is the cavedragon and one of her "on" colors is pink, well... let's just say there were MANY interesting comments made. over the course of the night, there was much wrestling (the pg-13 rated sort, and i didn't stand a damn chance. i kept getting the hell out of the way), much laughing and giggling, and i was attacked with the rediwhip and cherries. there was no sex involved, but hot damn i was ready to tumble SOMEBODY. i know both pale girl and spott were ready too. having the weird situation we have, though, nothing happened but my first real crash of the day...
anyway, i'm off. it is really fuckin cool i could still post, but i'm not sure how long that will last. there is more to tell but later...
♥
firefae
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MWAH!
Hugs and big big smooshes