if anyone would like to see some crazy "i won't back down"-ness, please feel free to go to redfirefaery.livejournal.com and look at, not the most recent post, but the one before it and the comments. the exact same post that here illicited response of support and understanding, there apparently invited attacks. go mainstream! you rock!
anyway, late last night and early this morning hurt. i really can't wrap my head around the idea that it can be wrong to love, especially with openness and honesty, and my lifestyle is "spiritually unhealthy". the one who posted that--she is barely 19 and "engaged" (married in the eyes of god is how she put it, and while i'm sure she loves him i know that was done for sex). i think that could be a little more "spiritually unhealthy" than being in a mature relationship that, rather than a playtime/let's snuggle type of relationship, is actually a realistic partnership for living and being happy. i remember young love, and i'm fairly certain now, looking back on it, that i was stupid to think it was ever going to amount to anything. i was too careless and didn't have the life experience to appreciate the things that matter.
but enough about small-mindedness. i have the best girl in the world, and a new friend who is turning out to be all the things i've wanted in a just plain friend. G you rock!
so tomorrow... spott and i are going to rochester to view houses for sale. the fun starts at 1! i am very excited, but also nervous about the pending mortgage approval. spott applied over the phone yesterday and they have yet to get back to her... still, it would be great to have a house. i'm getting tired of all the loud people they have recently let into my nice, quiet building. i don't tolerate extraneous noise well, and both our upstairs and downstairs neighbors now have a penchant for extra loud TV, as well as children of screaming age.
now it is just after 10, my dinner is cold waiting for me, and here i sit, not really hungry, with so much more in my head that just won't come out...
♥
anyway, late last night and early this morning hurt. i really can't wrap my head around the idea that it can be wrong to love, especially with openness and honesty, and my lifestyle is "spiritually unhealthy". the one who posted that--she is barely 19 and "engaged" (married in the eyes of god is how she put it, and while i'm sure she loves him i know that was done for sex). i think that could be a little more "spiritually unhealthy" than being in a mature relationship that, rather than a playtime/let's snuggle type of relationship, is actually a realistic partnership for living and being happy. i remember young love, and i'm fairly certain now, looking back on it, that i was stupid to think it was ever going to amount to anything. i was too careless and didn't have the life experience to appreciate the things that matter.
but enough about small-mindedness. i have the best girl in the world, and a new friend who is turning out to be all the things i've wanted in a just plain friend. G you rock!
so tomorrow... spott and i are going to rochester to view houses for sale. the fun starts at 1! i am very excited, but also nervous about the pending mortgage approval. spott applied over the phone yesterday and they have yet to get back to her... still, it would be great to have a house. i'm getting tired of all the loud people they have recently let into my nice, quiet building. i don't tolerate extraneous noise well, and both our upstairs and downstairs neighbors now have a penchant for extra loud TV, as well as children of screaming age.
now it is just after 10, my dinner is cold waiting for me, and here i sit, not really hungry, with so much more in my head that just won't come out...
♥