this week i have been a ball of so many different emotions. i truly have faith in him that things can and will change and that things will get better between us. every time i give him another chance though i loose a little bit of who i am. i become less and less of the person i thought i was and also farther and farther from the person i want to be.
---
i've been applying at several different jobs today online. i hope that i hear back from some of them this week. i really need to get out of the place i'm in right now. i need to change so many things in my life. 2007 is going to be a year of change for me. my new years resolution is to make myself the most important thing in my life. second place is my cats.
---
i made some really awesome beef lentil butternut squash stew today. at least i hope its awesome. it looks awesome and it smells awesome. it's almost done cooking. i'm just waiting for the lentils to become a little bit softer before i have a nice big bowl with some gluten free bread.
---
i hope that it snows soon. it doesn't look like it's going to be happening, but i'm still keeping my fingers crossed. i want to go snowboarding.
---
justin is looking at trips to europe in february. he wants to go for only one week. i suppose that one week is better than no weeks though. i just know that if i go i won't want to come back and i won't even get to see 1/8th of all the things and places i want to see in italy.
---
tomorrow i'm going to go to the gym in the morning and then head downtown and do a little bit of shopping for myself. i need some new sweaters and clothes to wear that aren't work clothes. i never want to go out anywhere anymore because all of my clothes that i have are for work and blah and boring and not me at all. i think i'll get some nice casual comfy earthy clothes like i used to wear. lately i've been really girly and wearing pink and stuff but i really miss my comfy bo-ho hippy art student look that i had going on before.
---
time to go feed the kitties.
later all.
rebekah
---
i've been applying at several different jobs today online. i hope that i hear back from some of them this week. i really need to get out of the place i'm in right now. i need to change so many things in my life. 2007 is going to be a year of change for me. my new years resolution is to make myself the most important thing in my life. second place is my cats.
---
i made some really awesome beef lentil butternut squash stew today. at least i hope its awesome. it looks awesome and it smells awesome. it's almost done cooking. i'm just waiting for the lentils to become a little bit softer before i have a nice big bowl with some gluten free bread.
---
i hope that it snows soon. it doesn't look like it's going to be happening, but i'm still keeping my fingers crossed. i want to go snowboarding.
---
justin is looking at trips to europe in february. he wants to go for only one week. i suppose that one week is better than no weeks though. i just know that if i go i won't want to come back and i won't even get to see 1/8th of all the things and places i want to see in italy.
---
tomorrow i'm going to go to the gym in the morning and then head downtown and do a little bit of shopping for myself. i need some new sweaters and clothes to wear that aren't work clothes. i never want to go out anywhere anymore because all of my clothes that i have are for work and blah and boring and not me at all. i think i'll get some nice casual comfy earthy clothes like i used to wear. lately i've been really girly and wearing pink and stuff but i really miss my comfy bo-ho hippy art student look that i had going on before.
---
time to go feed the kitties.
later all.
rebekah
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
And, second chances are only worth it if the person you're extending them too really makes the effort to make things better. (((((hugs)))))
xoxo
ps, I love the video you taped of Lucy spaz dancing! "She's not wearing a bra!"
You need to put yourself, and what you need in life first and focus on that...
If something is draining you that much, to the point where you're losing sight of what you want and need....You need to evaluate if that something is worth that.
<3