red_vinyl

so many things have been going through my mind lately. i've started to not even care anymore about things that normally would bother me to no end. i've come to expect to be lied to. it doesn't phase me anymore when it happens. i'm used to it. i've become conditioned to accept that this is my reality. although i know i don't deserve to be lied to i've come to accept that this is what is going to happen to me for the rest of my life. i trust no one. i don't believe anything. i constantly doubt not only myself but others as well. i second guess everything that happens. i feel like something is missing when everything seems ok. i look for lies. i pick apart every little detail to find them because i know they are there. sometimes they are just hiding under so many layers of false truths that it's hard to get to them, but they are there and i thrive on finding them. in everything and everyone.