red_flynn

I normally don't update my page so often, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to at the moment, so it's going to be you (anyone that reads this).
I just said the hardest thing to my mom in the 22 1/2 years I've been alive, but it sounds really simple.
I found out that I'm pretty much going to get deployed to Iraq. Okay, I don't have anything against Iraqis, I would love to see them have a free country. But the extreemists are making things complicated. Anyways, I have not yet told my mom this. I was going to try and go home for the holidays (my only chance at vacation for the next year or so) and talk to her face to face. But as it turns out, she and my stepfather are going to visit his parents for Christmas. I'm not mad about this, they made plans and I'm jumpind in. So here comes the hard part; I told her to go ahead with her plans and I've pretty much decided not to try and visit before I get deployed. I know it sounds messed up, but I've always been really independent and....some what withdrawn. It does make me a bit sad to tell my mom not to bother changing her plans for what would be the last time she could see her son for more than a year, but it's just the way I am. I'm not even sure how I can tell her about this now. I was thinking about sitting her down at home and explaining things to her, but now I have no idea.
This is not the first time, though I know it not to be the last time, that I am completely lost. How do you tell your mother about something like this from thousands of miles away?