recursive

Why did she have to come back? Why couldn't she have just stayed away? Why did she have to come with her light and her beauty? Why can't she just leave me alone? Why does this still hurt so much? It has been so long.

I feel like I am making progress these days. Progress in my life, progress in things I am trying to accomplish, progress in fighting to make my life my own. It's been a long year, but I feel like I have come out a stronger, better person. I feel like maybe I will accomplish something with my life after all. Or at least I am...
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"Man uses words only to conceal his thoughts, and uses thoughts only to justify to himself the wrongs he has done."

-Voltaire (the one without tattoos)

Sometimes I just want to scream out my rage and frustration over what's happened to me. I want to know how I ended up with this pathetic waste of a life. I want to know how I became this sad mess, hunting for little bits of affection, chasing after pieces of meaning, trying to make sense of what has happened and how I got here....
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Feeling a little down tonight, not sure why...

So have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and not really recognized yourself?

I stared at myself in the mirror for literally ten minutes last night trying for some sort of recognition. Got nothing really. I mean, I look familiar and all, but not really like me. Maybe like an older cousin of me. But...
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Hello cruel world, how's it hanging?

I am currently trying to figure out how to get back into the movie industry after having been away for several years. The problem is that I feel I am now to old to get in in the traditional way, that is being a PA. So ihave to figure out another angle. If anyone happens to read this and...
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I was thinking last night about what people want from each other.

They want some one to hold them close at night. They want some one to think they are worth a damn. They want someone to think of them with depths of emotion. They want to matter to someone. They want people to notice their absence from the room. They want a them sized...
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The world is good.

Ya know why? I have a lame ass reason, but I'll tell you all anyway (all of you being the one or two people who might read this.)

I met like 7 really cute girls this week. All this accumulated cuteness has put me in a good damn mood.

It's funny how that can really just elevate you. But it makes...
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It's one of those days where you deal with your life like an alcholic. You just keep telling yourself One Day at a Time, and keep plugging away. You just tell yourself that it's all going to get better in not that long, as long as you just keep going.

I'm looking forward to it really. There are times when I look at the posibilites...
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You know what's silly? I get depressed watching movies with people falling in love. I get depressed reading books with people falling in love. I get depressed listening to love songs.

And this is just dumb. It's been long enough and none of this should matter. But it still does.

You know what's the worst? Seeing and talking to her in a way that brings...
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