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OMFG!!!! BILL FROM 4TH PERIOD ENGLISH CLASS SAID HE LIKE ME TODAY!!!! I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT TOTALLY MADE MY DAY!!!!!!!
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Its amazing the kind of people you meet while masturbating in the restrooms and bath houses of America. Today while spanking myself silly in the Arby's restroom I met a kindred who wanted to be known only as T-Machine. I told him my name was Antonio and we jerked in unison for nealy a quarter of an hour. And what a machine he was! His...
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So today I decided to jerk off in the restroom of this local sports bar. I wanted to bring a more blue collar feel to my quest. Half way through my vigorous rubbing this huge John Goodman looking guy came busting through the door. Now I was toally into it with my head tilted way back and my mouth wide open. I must have been...
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Today my jerk quest, as it where, found me rubbing it at a U.S. Post Office. I was a little afraid of being caught. I'm not sure if the penalties for public lewdness are greater inside of a government facility. There just might be some special provision in the Patriot Act against just such a thing. Despite that, my desire for wacking it in public...
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kurtz:
would you really need a pacemaker if you had an artificial heart?
rectum:
indeed I would not, now go forth and amaze the world with your supreme powers of deduction.
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After months of revulsion I believe I am finally beginning to like the taste of my own urine. This comes as welcome news, I now know that my valiant struggle has not been in vain. I masturbated in the lumber aisle of Home Depot today. A sticky mess was left behind an unsuspecting pile of 2x4s. I am certian that it is nothing those brave...
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I masturbated at olive garden today. I rubbed one off right in the men's room stall and the best part is that I didn't even wash my hands afterwards. Bon Appetite MotherFuckers!
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I sure hope no one reads this but lately I've been having fantasies about butt fucking my neighbor's dog. Its not a whloly unattractive dog so I really don't see anything wrong with that.
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I know you fuckers hang off every damn word that I write. The deafening silence is staunch proof of this. Sometimes I think I am just too so-FIST-icated for this interweb thing. I should be getting published or something. I believe that suicide girls is starting to lose some of its novetly. Its like when you favourite band that no one has...
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I've been dating this beautiful Brazilian girl for nearly a year. I love her more than any woman I've ever dated.

Her curly dark hair flows down her back like a waterfall in midnight. Her eyes are almond shaped and mysteriously blue.

Her lips are red and full like rose petals touched by morning dew.

She has a body to die for. Guys are always...
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rectum:
ass nozzle