rectum

Have a miserable new year you worthless fucks.

I hate you.

One time I was masturbating outside a bar in Capitola. A Police officer shined his light into the alley and found me with my pants down. I explained that I was taking a leak. For my troubles, the officer gave me a lecture about how I could be charged with a sex crime, how I'd have to register as a sex offender in every county....
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my penis doesn't work!!! when I hit it with a hammer it doesn't squeak anymore.

My dick is a time machine and masturbation is the on/off switch.

Most people don't know it, but today is the international citrus fruit celebration day. Remember that you only have a few days to eat lightly before stuffing yourself during the holidays. So tonight, instead of having a Mars bar as a snack, eat a lemon or an orange.

There are more details at lemonparty.org

Go to the Bob's T-Girls site and you will see shemales 100x hotter than any biological woman. Why is that? What is it about them that makes me so hard?

I always considered myself straight, but a lot of the Latina trannies and especially Brazilian ones are hotter than real women. It's so bad that I pick women up and fuck them from behind and...
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Last night while I was asleep my boner developed a simple method for calculating vector coupled sums.

Well today in the bathroom at Wendy's I was grabbed and molested, then he cut off my head and drained my blood into the toilet and flushed it. What a crappy day.

I like spitting on people in wheelchairs its almost as fun as beating up old people. So this dumb bitch wheels right up to me and asks me what time it is so I spit right in her fat fucking face, bet she never saw that one coming. She just kinda sat there with tihis stupid stunned look on her face. The best part is...
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