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It's over, again. Or it feels that way. It's frustrating, because I can't afford to be emotionally fucked up right now, I have too much other work to do that demands my mind be clear and functioning. Mistakes are so integral to human nature, but goddammit I expect better from myself.

How far would you go for contentment? How far would you go for happiness?...
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hansel:
How far would you go for contentment?
-I'm fine with moments of contentment, but overall I think being content is akin to being dead. I think the state of being human doesn't really allow contentment, we have emotions and we have drives that push us forward. There's plenty of time to be content in the ground.

How far would you go for happiness?
-I'll know it when I find it.

What makes you feel alive?
-Sound vibrating off of my body.

babyblue:
The sad thing is that I love "Legally Blonde." I even broke down and bought the DVD. whatever
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nothing unusual, nothing strange
close to nothing at all
the same old scenario, the same old rain
and there's no explosions here
then something unusual, something strange
comes from nothing at all
I saw a spaceship fly by your window
did you see it disappear?

Amie come sit on my wall
and read me the story of old
and tell it like you still believe...
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olivia:
alivan's, they're the only ones who'd ship in time for halloween.
hansel:
I fucking love that shirt. That's godlike.
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Fall break is here at last. The rain begins to fall lightly over the grounds. Will it stay this time? Soon enough, I tell myself, Ill be lamenting for these days when the sun reflects the fall colors on the leaves and everyone sits outside to take in the last glorious days before the long cold. As I prepare for a week off from school,...
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hansel:
I think the cold sore gave them a visible picture of how I've been feeling. They were all really nice about it.. I suspect they care for my well-being, while not wanting to get sick themselves. surreal
energychannel:
We will be in attendance this evening.
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The mix cd that I have been laboring with more or less unsuccessfully is finally starting to shape into something good. Im actually pleased with it now. Funny how it resembles its original form by only the slimmest of margins... But I suppose thats the way these things go. A little work and a little patience go a long way. I used to think that...
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hansel:
I did the damn lab, and now it's this goddamn essay.

Fuckin' school, eh..
hansel:
I hope I walk the line between bravery and stupidity with class. smile
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Thank you for the kind responses, everyone... I won't be doing anything too rash. All I can say is, I've been drinking far too much coffee lately.
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hansel:
Coffee is good, and good for you! It's not like a drug at all. shocked
sassitude:
It's always fun, just nothing compared to the experience of being with another person. Woody Allen is right, for some of us, masturbation is a survival tool! wink
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I feel so crowded. So overextended. I have some friends who I call once in a while and neglect the rest of the time, and more and more when I make plans to see them it is out of a feeling of obligation, not desire. Its not that I dont care for them I dont want to hurt anyone, and certainly dont want to seem...
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hippomonki:
coming form a self proclaimed serial monogamist takle time for your self my lovely one!
enjoy what life has tooffer but don't settle on one option untill you know what is right for you...
i have been slowly discovering my self lately, it has taken a while and a lot of heart ache and good friends but it is worth it ...
if nbeeded we shall have some hedwig time and some talking... me and my roomy are both good for that at lest wink
E kiss
oh and thank you so much for the birthday love... itmakes me squishy just knowing you said anything wink
hansel:
It'd be easy to blame you forr my sickness.. but everyonone I know has been sick. on well. I'll call tomorrow if I can practie. smile
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Can't seem to do right these days
Always miserable or just wasting time.
Why don't I write a song?
The halls are lonely
I smile at people I don't know;
Some smile back,
Some are just indifferent.
Some are calling the cops
So I better be leaving.
If I had one wish
I'd undo all the hurt I've given
and then I'd turn away.
If...
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hansel:
I can't wait for round two and three and four... and on and on. I'll need to pick up more Makers Mark.. and bushmills and Johnny Walker.. smile
babyblue:
You want one? Just email me your email address, because I need to type it in from gmail. smile
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While I'm here, I suppose I might as well update. Time goes by really fast between these days, and I have been so busy I never get time to hang out here anymore. Between work 5 days a week and taking classes (well, one class) I am totally exhausted most of the time. Last night I was all ready to hang out with some friends,...
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amaryllis111:
well that's what hansel said since you weren't out on Thursday and he hadn't heard from you all week. Are you still up for tonight? It may just be 4 of us. smile
hansel:
I hate being that busy. I remain blissfully ignorant of when school starts. I'm hoping to arrange a recording/playing/whatever session for this weekend. Lemme know if you're interested.
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ryan:
whoa!!! that's insane!!! eeek
sassitude:
whoops. i accidentally deleted you as a friend! frown
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Last night was pure bliss. I haven't done karaoke in a couple years, and it was beautiful to hang out with friends and let all my self-conscious trappings go for a few hours. In retrospect, it would have been better had I been wearing a dress. There were some guys there passing out flyers to a drag party next monday, and I was all excited...
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ryan:
you rock... thanks for coming to hang out last nite... it meant alot. smile
phillipetheotter:
Have you looked at those pics from karaoke? We look like brothers in some. I say we do a duet next time....
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I've got to use what I've got.


Be the best.
No negativity,
No weakness,
No acquiescence to fear or disaster,
No errors of ignorance,
No evasion from reality.


~jeff buckley
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hippomonki:
you rocked the place.. like a hurricane!
now all i want is your kiss kiss kiss KISS!
drag soon i will send you my schedule
amaryllis111:
yes, I'll go, it sounds like much fun. maybe we should karaoke first though! I'd love to do that again. yeah, I was dead as a dog all day today.
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Its a strange phenomenon, how certain environments, places, stimuli, activities, whatever it may be, influence different states of being and perception. The predominant state, at least for me, is one of self-doubt and fear. My mental clarity is confused and I feel unable to remember or even think very clearly. This is the state Im in 90% of the time. The other 10% is composed...
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hansel:
I don't know what you have to tell him. But do it as soon as you can. If you don't settle the past, you'll never be able to deal with the future.

Oh, and you should always endeavor to live in the now. smile
energychannel:
I will get you some stuff next pirate, good old shows of his that are mostly political, we can get to the raunchy stuff later.
No worries on the blank cd's.