I just took a long walk trying to clear the cobwebs outta my head. I've had a lot of 'news' to try and digest today, and it's hard to know how to feel.
My ex-fiance is getting married. It's been 5 years since she ended things, 4 since we've spoken, and now here she is telling me how happy she is and can't wait to be this new guys wife. I don't know why I should care, but for some reason I do. I can't help but wonder why this guy is somehow good enough, but I wasn't. Maybe it's silly to sit here and dwell on why people make decisions 5 years ago, but it still hurts.
...and of course, Jenn is getting married as well. Now I couldn't be happier for her, and I can tell she's sooooo excited about the big event. She's been my best friend I've ever had for the past 4 months, and nobody deserves to be happy more than she does. But along with happiness, there was a bit of sadness on my part as well. The instant I read the news last night on here, my heart sunk....and part of me felt soooo bad and I couldn't hold back the tears. I knew in that instant that some things were going to change, and I really didn't want them to...
But afterwards, I looked myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. What kind of friend would I be to rain on her parade now ?? and if I loved her as much as I think I do, I'd want her to be happy....and I do. I realise now how selfish I was being and I'm soooo sorry.
My ex-fiance is getting married. It's been 5 years since she ended things, 4 since we've spoken, and now here she is telling me how happy she is and can't wait to be this new guys wife. I don't know why I should care, but for some reason I do. I can't help but wonder why this guy is somehow good enough, but I wasn't. Maybe it's silly to sit here and dwell on why people make decisions 5 years ago, but it still hurts.
...and of course, Jenn is getting married as well. Now I couldn't be happier for her, and I can tell she's sooooo excited about the big event. She's been my best friend I've ever had for the past 4 months, and nobody deserves to be happy more than she does. But along with happiness, there was a bit of sadness on my part as well. The instant I read the news last night on here, my heart sunk....and part of me felt soooo bad and I couldn't hold back the tears. I knew in that instant that some things were going to change, and I really didn't want them to...
But afterwards, I looked myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. What kind of friend would I be to rain on her parade now ?? and if I loved her as much as I think I do, I'd want her to be happy....and I do. I realise now how selfish I was being and I'm soooo sorry.
ouioui:
Wow sweety... Of course you would be upset about your ex that is totally natural. You are plenty good enough for her it just wasn't the right time or person that is all. And your best friend you are mourning a little loss because things will change but it may change good. If you don't have the girl best friend around you may meet a girl that you marry. Ya never know what happens. You aren't selfish just human.