was outta town for 
day. just got back and am a little bit down. not only was i alone this 14th, but i realize that i'm responsible for my isolation. so then i beat myself up for it and feel 2x as bad.
i like the idea of friends, but to tell you the truth i'm really terrified of making new ones. even the online kind. i'm afraid that somehow i'll let down the other person.
it's good to be back in ny. i felt really weird in dc and virginia. one day i just went for a walk thru this suburban neighborhood, looking at all of these cool old houses. not big ones, just those really cozy solid brick houses they don't make anymore....suddenly i got very self-conscious and i felt like a criminal casing the houses. people kinda looked at me funny...i was in a neighborhood where everyone must've looked similar or something.
do you ever think that you've gone too far to go back? maybe i should change my screen name to isolato.
day. just got back and am a little bit down. not only was i alone this 14th, but i realize that i'm responsible for my isolation. so then i beat myself up for it and feel 2x as bad.
i like the idea of friends, but to tell you the truth i'm really terrified of making new ones. even the online kind. i'm afraid that somehow i'll let down the other person.
it's good to be back in ny. i felt really weird in dc and virginia. one day i just went for a walk thru this suburban neighborhood, looking at all of these cool old houses. not big ones, just those really cozy solid brick houses they don't make anymore....suddenly i got very self-conscious and i felt like a criminal casing the houses. people kinda looked at me funny...i was in a neighborhood where everyone must've looked similar or something.
do you ever think that you've gone too far to go back? maybe i should change my screen name to isolato.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
smuffy:
No it's not heavy at all. And you are right. Let me share my story so you will see I can relate. Before pursuing some type of online activity I already had enough friends to begin with. When I started chatting I made more friends and the friends just kept piling on the more time I spent online. My "real" friends started taking the backburner. It's amazing how demanding online friends can be. They can at times be worse than real friends. Then I started joining online communties such as this one and I find that even more people want to be friends. It's gotten to be a bit much at this point. But I can never say NO. I can never draw a line. To this day I continue to add even more people to my messengers causing me to neglect just about everything in my life. Ack. My brain starts to bleed just thinking about it. 
smuffy:
Cool new profile pic!