receptionistdesk

i have a new camera and an addiction to sweet tea.

today... ok this weekend reminded me of why i like to just walk away and not socialize with anyone for days at a time. it's been a long time since i've had this kind of stretch but thank god for it.

i broke my vow of antisocial behavior today to speak with a friend. he had recently let me know in a three page letter all of the way he didn't approve of my behavior and told me in great detail how much he wished he could save me. thanks, buddy... but i don't need a savior. i feel somewhat like i came down too harsh on him, as he's very sensitive and i quickly reduced him to tears... but i felt compelled to let him knwo that not everyone in the world appreciates his judgement. i didn't ask for it and it's been hard enough to maintain our fleeting friendship all the while omitting major details of my background because i don't want to be lectured on it. i guess i let him know that as far as i'm concerned, love me or leave me.

i'm not apologizing anymore.

i'm really considering school. far far far away. i only have so much tying me to delaware and pennsylvania and i feel like i should really experience something and somewhere totally new and different.

i also guess i feel that if i don't grow intellectually while also pushing myself to be more emotionally independent, then i'll never get past adolescence... and if i stay in this rut i'm not sure i'll ever be happy or be ready to start over in the romance arena... and that sucks.

p.s. read any good books lately? my list of to read is down to four books and that's certainly not going to last the winter.