rebel84

so i havent been on sg for quite a while because of some drama that happened. but i have been on the past week and feeling ok about it. its been hard sometimes because i have lots of reminders of bad times but then even more of times that i miss really badly. it just leaves me confused. but its been really nice to reconnect with some people i have really missed. its so weird when your life changes so much. i'm dating some one new but i am really not good at dating i've realized. i dont ever know what to expect and i feel like i am giving so much more than i am getting. everyday a little more i miss my old life when i didnt know better and i was oblivious. but i know thats gone and i have to try harder now to see the signs early. but i've been having a hard time because i want to believe so badly that people say how they feel and and really mean it. i've been feeling very lonely lately and i dont know if it's just me being stupid and scared or if i really am not being considered in my realtionship. i know that i have difficulty trusting people now. but why is it getting worse? i dont know. i probably shouldnt have written this blog. i've had some wine and that just makes me worse. but i just needed to vent i guess. if you read this thnx. i guess i just needed some one to.