realistic67

I Feel Like A Stranger... I My Own City...( haunted by the world gone by )

The Olympics is gone... the guys I know who were working on the Really big show in the Jiffy Pop Dome... have struck... once again there's 6000 techs who are looking for 4000 gigs... They all called me jamming up my lines....Me I've been catching up on sleep majorly

Depression looms...

Me? I'm pretty happy... I'll go back to where I usually am on regular years.. to last month ...Soon... I'll cook again at home... pay my bills with what I make in the moment.... work on my idea for my Tattoo ( or the idea of a motorcycle license ) and coast til May - When I'm going to BERLIN to see my Brother and my new Nephew....

Girls....? I care... but... STILL.... fuck girls... they've never been there for me... NOT like work... I've always found it... but women... I find.... Well, I find I never find... When I'm looking and then...??? SHE happens... And things go head over heels...

I think I'm happy and I can be safe.... With someone... Inside her enjoying with release that knowledge that I'm MALE ....

AND

Then it's over ( Usually by her call... Which always makes me think it's my fault - I wish i could escape this feeling... other guys ( Bastard FUCKERS ) seem to be able too/ or hide it better...I Covet them and their ability to disconnect. ) SERIOUSLY.... The minute I EXHALE...I think we're something... that's when she pulls the cord and I'm left in free fall.. without any rescue plan or second chute.

And people wonder why I live like a Paratrooper... and hang lifeless in the trees... After this fall... Still to this day.