realistic67

The Dream Of A Straight Pride Day

It's Gay Pride Week again in Vancouver. The real start of summer here. Or, as I like to call it: Straight Envy Week.

I don't know about you straight girls, ( because I can't get into your heads to save my life... or have a remotely reasonable sex life ) but, us Average Frustrated Chump straight guys. Really deep down inside, we envy gay men and woman on a level that most of us will never really admit.

( this must be especially so for shy straight guys deep inland, nearer the heart of America. Where saying you love your gun, your dog, and your truck. Is higher on the list than saying you love your brother. )

I mean really, it must be amazing to be gay and have that moment when you realise that you can be attracted to, hang with, and even have sex. With almost the same type of person brain-wise as you are.

To be completely able to think like the object of your attraction. To be internally wired the same way and have that first kiss. Or, just be there in the midst of all thease same type people. Dancing, reveling and loving the great open ability to love. Really, I have to say as a straight guy. it's infectious. And super desirable.

For my part, After a day of wandering around the big, pink, bannered city of Vancouver. Being checked out, sized up and in many cases, really flattered that guys that much younger and really ( AND...I say this as a 41 year old, artsy straight guy... ) well, Hot gay guys. - Who, on two different occasions today offered me coffee and beer. Out, and about in the Gay Pride Week Sponsored Davie Street cafes and bars. Where I hung as I celebrated with my gay friends.

This super heavy, nice attraction - reaction made me horny. But feeling fine inside my own skin. Knowing quite well whom I'm attracted to. ( even though single women were for the most part not even present. ) As opposed to the moments of being horny, but seriously confused and frustrated over lack of return.

See, Men who like Men really...... REALLY!!! return each others check out gaze. From a gay man, regardless of his age. There's no mistaking in me that he's checking me out. Where-as for the most part. Straight women ( out in public - on the street ) Younger or older, have this timed, auto reaction to my initial gaze.

It tends to go like this: " OH MY GOD!!!....ACT NORMAL!!!!.... AND LOOK THE OTHER WAY REALLY FAST!!!! SO HE DOESN"T REALISE I"M EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTED IN HIM IN ANY WAY...thing. Which kills most sense of any sensitive straight guys even thinking they're possibly cute.

But, after a day of feeling like being a special subject of attraction. Knowing all day what it's like to feel like a sex object to at least someone. And, more importantly realising it's not evil or the end of the world if I don't totally partake. Bit, being hugged and touched. Having meaning-full, deep interesting conversations. And even moments where some guy with guy flirtation was in play. ( Till I made my own attraction interests known - subtly and even not so subtly )

I find myself really attuned to the real image of my own attraction to others. And at Sanctuary ( The local industrial night ) I found myself willing to stretch a few boundary moments between myself and the opposite sex. Dancing and play moshing thru groups of guys and girls and getting a fun time reaction in return. And in the down time moments finding out a few of the really cute girls names. A thing that for the most part has always alluded me there.

Not that I got any tail... I mean, remember... these are goth girls I'm talking about. The hardest of the straight female sub species to fathom or connect with. I chat them up in the club and they seemed O.K. around the blaring, pounding, oppressive beat. But, later..... out on the street walking home the one I thought I'd made the most connection with ran away.... like I'm the Night stalker.

The weird ending... I didn't take it personally. I'll just try again next time and see what happens. Maybe one will show her attraction back....Who knows.