A Tale of 2 Fetish Events - Part 2
I've slowly been getting into fetish Nights. Admittedly, mostly as a voyeur, as I'm new to this. Years of being semi celibate and distant from women unless I'm filled with liquid courage. And chatting up all the wrong women in pubs and bars have made me far more interested in the show. Maybe it's a safety thing. To watch women cavort doesn't hurt. But to involve ones self. That means either risking rejection ( which has been my earliest fear since High school ) Or conversely, acceptance and only giving my heart to see it be crushed. Which is the greater fear now of mine, in regards to women.
But, the show of Sex? I love the show. The drama....Of their bodies, tightly constricted behind corsettes. Or freely displayed as open fantasy. As any guy, I'm drawn to it like a moth to the flame. For me that's what fetish is. A showy event of one's true deep inner sexual honesty. Leather, PVC, Cross Dressing, Dominant, Submissive... Whatever. That's not important. male, Female whatever.... What it is, is to be surrounded by people allowing themselves to be involved, present and alive inside the show of sex.
I think this is where we find many of ourselves. The hurt ones, the afraid ones, the sensitive ones. After almost 60 years off so called equality. 30 years of the fear of AIDS. Sex is confusing and remember... Sex = Death. How do we stay sexy.... interesting... interested. All when divorce is too easy, and the fear of death can come from a lovers embrace?
What it is, and I've loath to admit it is: Are we having fun? Fun for me has been theatre. It's this desire that I'm sort of in strange way married to. It's my cathartic release. My hideaway. Where I redeem myself. But, it's work. It's not sexy. And really, unless I lived in Toronto or NYC. Nobody here really gives a damn. That world class city crap doesn't play with the locals, that's a propaganda machine message from the developers who need investors. Financial Cannon Fodder to fuel their grubby money making machines.
Going to Goth nights and dancing away the evening after a night of Semi - Professional, local musical theatre work has been my escape. Now the people that run the night I like, have amalgamated it into Sin City. Sort of. It's at the same club every other Saturday. But, as I've found so far, every other Sin City night seems far more populated, mixed ( Straight/Gay ) and well. Different.
The fact that everyone has to dress up in non street clothes. Take on a persona. Means everyone. Including me are far more open. And after an evening of wearing a tight restricting suit. Being proper at a wedding. And drinking far too many martinis. I was up for a night of dancing and theatre.
So, I donned my black rubber sleeveless police shirt, tight black bondage pants. Combat boots. Silver nail polish. Gothy black eye liner. Straps, fingerless gloves and my Bowler hat. Pretended in the mirror to take on my best Wiemar Republic Cabaret MC pose. Jumped into a cab and headed out for my first non - holiday Sin City event.
Where appon hitting the crowded sweaty dance floor. Dancing to my own spirit. I noticed a slim pretty bobbed haired girl in one of those short emerald Green Chinese Suzie Wong numbers. Doing that dance with your GF's in a circle thing. She noticed me and kept flicking wine at me til I pulled her from her friends. We danced, we grinded away as her friends melted into the crowd. And we ended up spending a great deal of time together that night. Talking, kissing,touching and dancing. And I have to admit after chatting up girls at the wedding reception earlier. And taking on a persona that night for fun. I found myself just enjoying the moment. So much so that when... We later at a table compared notes on our lives and she found out I was 11 years her senior. And she was spirited way by her watchful friends. ( Women must have some sort of sign they give each other....) I didn't care nor mope. I just went out onto the dance floor. Dancing with other friends. Who asked me who she was. As they had never seen me so into a girl before at any other night....
And all I could say for sure.... was her Name.....
I've slowly been getting into fetish Nights. Admittedly, mostly as a voyeur, as I'm new to this. Years of being semi celibate and distant from women unless I'm filled with liquid courage. And chatting up all the wrong women in pubs and bars have made me far more interested in the show. Maybe it's a safety thing. To watch women cavort doesn't hurt. But to involve ones self. That means either risking rejection ( which has been my earliest fear since High school ) Or conversely, acceptance and only giving my heart to see it be crushed. Which is the greater fear now of mine, in regards to women.
But, the show of Sex? I love the show. The drama....Of their bodies, tightly constricted behind corsettes. Or freely displayed as open fantasy. As any guy, I'm drawn to it like a moth to the flame. For me that's what fetish is. A showy event of one's true deep inner sexual honesty. Leather, PVC, Cross Dressing, Dominant, Submissive... Whatever. That's not important. male, Female whatever.... What it is, is to be surrounded by people allowing themselves to be involved, present and alive inside the show of sex.
I think this is where we find many of ourselves. The hurt ones, the afraid ones, the sensitive ones. After almost 60 years off so called equality. 30 years of the fear of AIDS. Sex is confusing and remember... Sex = Death. How do we stay sexy.... interesting... interested. All when divorce is too easy, and the fear of death can come from a lovers embrace?
What it is, and I've loath to admit it is: Are we having fun? Fun for me has been theatre. It's this desire that I'm sort of in strange way married to. It's my cathartic release. My hideaway. Where I redeem myself. But, it's work. It's not sexy. And really, unless I lived in Toronto or NYC. Nobody here really gives a damn. That world class city crap doesn't play with the locals, that's a propaganda machine message from the developers who need investors. Financial Cannon Fodder to fuel their grubby money making machines.
Going to Goth nights and dancing away the evening after a night of Semi - Professional, local musical theatre work has been my escape. Now the people that run the night I like, have amalgamated it into Sin City. Sort of. It's at the same club every other Saturday. But, as I've found so far, every other Sin City night seems far more populated, mixed ( Straight/Gay ) and well. Different.
The fact that everyone has to dress up in non street clothes. Take on a persona. Means everyone. Including me are far more open. And after an evening of wearing a tight restricting suit. Being proper at a wedding. And drinking far too many martinis. I was up for a night of dancing and theatre.
So, I donned my black rubber sleeveless police shirt, tight black bondage pants. Combat boots. Silver nail polish. Gothy black eye liner. Straps, fingerless gloves and my Bowler hat. Pretended in the mirror to take on my best Wiemar Republic Cabaret MC pose. Jumped into a cab and headed out for my first non - holiday Sin City event.
Where appon hitting the crowded sweaty dance floor. Dancing to my own spirit. I noticed a slim pretty bobbed haired girl in one of those short emerald Green Chinese Suzie Wong numbers. Doing that dance with your GF's in a circle thing. She noticed me and kept flicking wine at me til I pulled her from her friends. We danced, we grinded away as her friends melted into the crowd. And we ended up spending a great deal of time together that night. Talking, kissing,touching and dancing. And I have to admit after chatting up girls at the wedding reception earlier. And taking on a persona that night for fun. I found myself just enjoying the moment. So much so that when... We later at a table compared notes on our lives and she found out I was 11 years her senior. And she was spirited way by her watchful friends. ( Women must have some sort of sign they give each other....) I didn't care nor mope. I just went out onto the dance floor. Dancing with other friends. Who asked me who she was. As they had never seen me so into a girl before at any other night....
And all I could say for sure.... was her Name.....
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
dalila:
oh well, indeed. but we can't be always all flowers and candies all the time 
bmp:
actually I have an xbox360, i hate sony.