Not one of my Fave years.... Except for the first vacation ever to LA to visit Melanie and chatting with Karen in Boston. Actually, I could do almost without this end of the entire decade. Hell, it's about to be 2008 and soon over, and I don't even know what to call it. The 00's ? The Naughts?... Who knows? New Years isn't a holiday for me for the most part. It's a work option. I'm striking a Rave up at the Coliseum tomorrow, very early. I was supposed to be striking the Nutcracker Suite this afternoon at The QET. But, they cut the crew back and an early Jan 1st call was all that was offered.
Plus, New Years is a couples holiday. Or a big party friend holiday..... That's what it feels like to me.
Backstage at Beauty it's too much like a big, month long dry, office Christmas party. Only with crazy outgoing actors and arty soap opera drama. All kind off weird as crew. it's a job thing and with the ACT class system in place, there's no real point to flirtation. The closest it gets is like teasing your fellow geeky elementary school-mates. And it's an in your face intenseness that sort of burns you out by the end of the month. So, when I come home I just want to fall into me. Maybe chat with Karen or Mel, read or look at odd stuff on Wikipedia / Youtube or strum my broken guitar. The pickups are faulty I'm gathering. Some thing to fix in the new year once Beauty is boxed up for storage.
I like having the knowledge that I have definite work every Xmas. But......
I really miss the early 2000's working Punk ass rock shows at The Vogue at New years and the more crazy rave shows and stuff. That's gone now and I guess I have to find new adventures. ACT feels like a cannery job right now with the return to Beauty And The Beast. It looks like it's going to run ad infinitum at the Stanley every Christmas til dooms day. Which is the main reason I want to get an FE and get more downtown work. Or be the FT calling steward and just take rock show calls as they come to me. Chatting with Melanie and Karen from Boston over MI this week is the real reason I'm back here to do entries.
That's the sucky thing about the dollar change. Less cute, direct American girls closer to my age coming up here with BF woes, to flirt with indiscriminately. I miss that, I was really good at that. I wish I could find that part of me talking to the local women But, they're all so much younger out in bars and backstage. On the internet I try to start up some sort of chat, with local women. I'm three different sites now. and it's.... well, 9 out of 10 its "tumbleweeds." I keep telling myself that they're probably just as burnt or even more so than me. As guys are far more the a holes per the bunch than user chicks.... It know this isn't sounding good. ( I''l find something uplifting inside all of it....)
Checking out the Fetish nights for more open crowds was sort of so so... fun mostly for the voyeurism. but it's still the same old closed in cliquish Vancouver club crowd that I find hard to talk to. Or I fear those women as more of the same flakey club chick world of my past. I tried a different tact. Chatting with one thru a Facebook group. And when I did meet her by accident at a club. She bailed away into the night rather quickly. Which I really don't get We chatted really great over facebook and she had a a BF and everything. I even made mention I would say hi if I saw her in person one night and she said it was OK. In person, however she just freaked. Which made me feel like an ogre. I still see her there occasionally. She sort of fakes a half hearted smile to me, if she acknowledges me at all. It's weird.
Years ago it used to be the other way around. club kids who would talk to me at the clubs and shows. But, say nothing to me in the streets. Now, I smile, say hi or some attempt to be witty to them on the outside or on facebook. But it's nada in the clubs or bars. Has the internet changed so every way I meet people now so much? With my female friends abroad on the net, I'm so very open. And never really bothered if the 9 out of 10 that I try to contact don't write back. Yet, in person I can't connect to save my life anymore Which is all kind of why I've been vacant here... I wan't sure I was coming back really. All my entries were just sounding the same. That sad - shite half hearted search for a GF ( Reasons unknown, as here in person. I really only meet the pure crazies... And I still find myself so terribly attracted to most of them. Like there's a serious flaw in my personal choice radar. )
Really, Melanie and Karen. The only connections being the few friends I've made with women over the net who are too far away to date. Maybe with the dollar increase I can really work on visiting the both of them. Versus, expecting the other way around.
The other pluses....My Guitar. Which was fun to actually play. ( oddly, my parents, at long last, came through with a really nice Xmas gift. A gift certificate to a music store ) Usually they ask me what I want. I tell them and they whine about how hard that is to get. So, they buy me a gift certificate to a book store or something. And it unknowingly to them a certificate to a store which has a really good tech Dept. So I can get it all setup, fixed with maybe some new distortion pick-ups. My extra gig as a calling steward - It's nice to know when I't's going to be busy. And although the roommate is still on disability at least I don't have to search for another. I have my health. I've come to deal with my tinnitus pretty well and it feels like it's faded. The car works and looks all spiffy on 17 inch wheels... Now it's new struts and lowering springs for the spring. Really...
I just wish for 2008 I was just better at chatting up women... finding courage and letting caution to the air. cleaning... I need to be more astute about cleaning... that too.