Holy passionate conservatism, Batman! I gots no journal entries! Well, I'll be goddamned if I let Seymour Hersh get more articles published than me. ("publish" in the loosest sense of the word) I may not have any big "scoops" such as Abu Ghraib or the My Lai massacre or Brad and Jen breaking up, but what I lack in facts and integrity, I more than make up for with my flashy graphics and sexiness (flashy graphics to come later).
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vice President Cheney held a press conference today wherin he explained the necessity for increasing the size of his wife's breasts. "It is vital to our national security that we not overlook an impending crisis as dangerous as this," Cheney said. "If we continue to ignore my wifes sagging tits, then we will simply be passing the problem on to the next generation. We must, can and will act NOW to get some big, honkin gozongas up in that bitch."
http://www.wfu.edu/Student-organizations/collegerepublicans/photos/2002.10.29.cheney/2002.10.29.cheney.4.jpg
Using a series of hand gestures, Cheney went on to describe the firmness of his wifes breasts when he first met her and demonstrated various techniques he had for stimulating the nipple and aureole. "See, they used to point straight out. I mean, you could drill holes with these things, they were so hard," Cheney continued. "And you know how most guys are like, 'I only need a handful.' Well, fuck that! It better be a big goddamned handful!" Added Cheney, "If you bring me a bucketful, then we can talk! Ya know what I'm sayin?"
http://www.wfu.edu/Student-organizations/collegerepublicans/photos/2002.10.29.cheney/2002.10.29.cheney.5.jpg
At the end of the press conference, the Vice President's wife Lynne joined him, to demonstrate her time ravaged body to the public. "My husband tells me this is for the good of our nation," was the only remark she was hear to make. She seemed distracted by her husband rubbing his face vigorously into the 2 bulbous microphones in front of him. When White House reporter Helen Thomas attempted to ask her about the her 1981 novel "Sisters" a pioneer lesbian love story set in 19th century Wyoming, VP Cheney became very angry and condemned the reporter as an "evildoer" and called his question "treasonous" and absolutely innappriate for the time and place.
whitehouse.org
Thomas was escorted to a back room where her genitals were attached to a car battery with jumper cables. Her current wherabouts are unknown. "These liberals make me sick," said Cheney, after the incident. "They're always trying to subvert our traditional family values by pushing their sick gay agenda into our faces. Now, any questions about my wife's tits?"
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vice President Cheney held a press conference today wherin he explained the necessity for increasing the size of his wife's breasts. "It is vital to our national security that we not overlook an impending crisis as dangerous as this," Cheney said. "If we continue to ignore my wifes sagging tits, then we will simply be passing the problem on to the next generation. We must, can and will act NOW to get some big, honkin gozongas up in that bitch."
http://www.wfu.edu/Student-organizations/collegerepublicans/photos/2002.10.29.cheney/2002.10.29.cheney.4.jpg
Using a series of hand gestures, Cheney went on to describe the firmness of his wifes breasts when he first met her and demonstrated various techniques he had for stimulating the nipple and aureole. "See, they used to point straight out. I mean, you could drill holes with these things, they were so hard," Cheney continued. "And you know how most guys are like, 'I only need a handful.' Well, fuck that! It better be a big goddamned handful!" Added Cheney, "If you bring me a bucketful, then we can talk! Ya know what I'm sayin?"
http://www.wfu.edu/Student-organizations/collegerepublicans/photos/2002.10.29.cheney/2002.10.29.cheney.5.jpg
At the end of the press conference, the Vice President's wife Lynne joined him, to demonstrate her time ravaged body to the public. "My husband tells me this is for the good of our nation," was the only remark she was hear to make. She seemed distracted by her husband rubbing his face vigorously into the 2 bulbous microphones in front of him. When White House reporter Helen Thomas attempted to ask her about the her 1981 novel "Sisters" a pioneer lesbian love story set in 19th century Wyoming, VP Cheney became very angry and condemned the reporter as an "evildoer" and called his question "treasonous" and absolutely innappriate for the time and place.
whitehouse.org
Thomas was escorted to a back room where her genitals were attached to a car battery with jumper cables. Her current wherabouts are unknown. "These liberals make me sick," said Cheney, after the incident. "They're always trying to subvert our traditional family values by pushing their sick gay agenda into our faces. Now, any questions about my wife's tits?"