Today ended a very long sticky complicated situation which I havent talked about yet. And need to get off my chest and hear some thoughts from peops on the situation.
I broke up with my girlfriend who'd I'd been dating for three years a month ago.
At the same time I met a new friend, who I was really clicking with, she added me on facebook and we started chatting on the chat thing there. She then gave me her number and we began texting eachother all day, every day.
3 weeks ago she went on holiday, where she texted me still and called me on a few occasions. On one drunken night she called me, and we both told eachother that we liked eachother. Good right? Wrong. She has a boyfriend she's been with for three years. I respected that and we agreed to be just friends.
Untill....
she came back from holiday last monday, and the first person she comes to see after her family was me. She came round showed me her holidays photos, chatted and hugged.
The next night we both went round to a mutual friends and had a lot to drink. At the end of the night we decided to go back to mine and continue drinking. On the way home, we sat down and got talking about relationships, when suddenly mid conversation, she kisses me. I then kiss her back, and we make out.
We go back to mine, hang with my bro and his girlfriend, and then go up to bed to sleep. We continued making out and she took her top off, she then went to take her bra off and I told her no, to stop. She didnt listen and done it anyway. Having a sexy stunning girl topless in your bed is very hard to resist. So naturally, oral sex happend. She then wanted me to fuck her. And I said no, refused to, as she has a boyfriend.
Then the next day she felt guilty, yet still stayed at mine till 6pm and told me she was confused and not sure what she wanted.
On Thursday I was helping my friend who's a teacher decorate his class room. She texted me and said she wanted to help. So she came, helped and more making out. Later on that evening was my bands gig, where she came and told me she wanted to be with me forever and really cared about me. She was all over me, and convinced me she was going to be with me. Needless to say, we fucked.
The next morning she woke up and told me she could'nt do this, that she was scared of how much she felt about me, and how much she was falling for me. And didnt want to get hurt. She said she needed to talk to her boyfriend about things, and see what happens. So she did. And the following day she told me they were giving it another go. Later that night we were both at a party and she wouldnt leave me alone, so I told her that she used me, lead me on, fucked me and left me.
This week we tried to be friends, dumb idea, it was obvious it wouldnt work. And today she told me she couldnt keep being reminded about what she done, and that she needs to go.
How dumb am I to fall for this, I got lead on and fucked with. So now I have no job, no lady, waiting for results to come back from my MRI and EEG scan about my depersonalzation and anxiety. And now I feel like complete shit. I feel like I was a dickhead for fucking someone elses girlfriend, I really do. I feel like a dickhead for being used. And I feel like a dickhead for not stopping this from the start. And what I hate the most, is I still want her. I still care about her.
I broke up with my girlfriend who'd I'd been dating for three years a month ago.
At the same time I met a new friend, who I was really clicking with, she added me on facebook and we started chatting on the chat thing there. She then gave me her number and we began texting eachother all day, every day.
3 weeks ago she went on holiday, where she texted me still and called me on a few occasions. On one drunken night she called me, and we both told eachother that we liked eachother. Good right? Wrong. She has a boyfriend she's been with for three years. I respected that and we agreed to be just friends.
Untill....
she came back from holiday last monday, and the first person she comes to see after her family was me. She came round showed me her holidays photos, chatted and hugged.
The next night we both went round to a mutual friends and had a lot to drink. At the end of the night we decided to go back to mine and continue drinking. On the way home, we sat down and got talking about relationships, when suddenly mid conversation, she kisses me. I then kiss her back, and we make out.
We go back to mine, hang with my bro and his girlfriend, and then go up to bed to sleep. We continued making out and she took her top off, she then went to take her bra off and I told her no, to stop. She didnt listen and done it anyway. Having a sexy stunning girl topless in your bed is very hard to resist. So naturally, oral sex happend. She then wanted me to fuck her. And I said no, refused to, as she has a boyfriend.
Then the next day she felt guilty, yet still stayed at mine till 6pm and told me she was confused and not sure what she wanted.
On Thursday I was helping my friend who's a teacher decorate his class room. She texted me and said she wanted to help. So she came, helped and more making out. Later on that evening was my bands gig, where she came and told me she wanted to be with me forever and really cared about me. She was all over me, and convinced me she was going to be with me. Needless to say, we fucked.
The next morning she woke up and told me she could'nt do this, that she was scared of how much she felt about me, and how much she was falling for me. And didnt want to get hurt. She said she needed to talk to her boyfriend about things, and see what happens. So she did. And the following day she told me they were giving it another go. Later that night we were both at a party and she wouldnt leave me alone, so I told her that she used me, lead me on, fucked me and left me.
This week we tried to be friends, dumb idea, it was obvious it wouldnt work. And today she told me she couldnt keep being reminded about what she done, and that she needs to go.
How dumb am I to fall for this, I got lead on and fucked with. So now I have no job, no lady, waiting for results to come back from my MRI and EEG scan about my depersonalzation and anxiety. And now I feel like complete shit. I feel like I was a dickhead for fucking someone elses girlfriend, I really do. I feel like a dickhead for being used. And I feel like a dickhead for not stopping this from the start. And what I hate the most, is I still want her. I still care about her.
wynnifred:
raw emotion and sexual attraction are powerful.... and yes, can leave you fucked over. but sometimes its too hard not to go there. you are only human. don't beat yourself up 
lolliepop:
awww honey thats tough. *hugs*