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razzle_dazzle

London

Member Since 2009

Followers 208 Following 222

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Thursday May 07, 2009

May 7, 2009
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Today I played golf for the first time in my life, it was a good larth, I think I'm ready to be an old man already. Although now my nose is punishing me for it with my fucking hayfever.

My nose hurts and my eyes are swollen. And my band is playing its first gig in Kingston tomorrow night, so hopefully this time tomorrow I will finally feel a sense of achievement and maybe wake up from this depersonlization bullshit.

I also broke my alcohol ban I had set myself, but two months was long enough and I didnt feel any better off it.

And I also just got an email from my boss saying that she's cutting down my work hours. Fucking great. Less work means even less money, FUCK. why can't I wake the fuck up, get another job. Stop avoiding my relationships and sort my fucking life out.

Still waiting to hear from the neuralogists for my brain scans.

In the mean time more anti depressants and sleeping pills to choke down my neck.

I would just like to find some meaning, hope, light and guidance in myself.

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