razzle_dazzle

Good afternoon everyone,

Its a beutiful sunny London day today, and I think a BBQ and a kick about is in order.

My appetite is slowly coming back which is awesome. Started exercising alot more to get fit and help me lift my low mood.

Healthy mind + Healthy body = Healthy soul

Just need to stay focused and motivated.

I think looking at some...
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Just had my first driving lesson, fun stuff, no one was harmed.

Plus my band has its first gig in Kingston in two weeks. Scary times.

I should really start learning my lyrics.

Now an evening off bumming around. Though I've already started and its afternoon. So half a day of bumming around.

Can anyone recommend some happy cheerful chilled quiet music. I love punk, but I need something a bit more quiter and delicate for my head at the moment. Anyone recommend any bands or artists?

So I figured out I'm suffering from something called depersonalization, and its common with most anxiety sufferers. Mine seems to be unrelated to any event. Just the fact that I'm thinking about the meaning of life too much and trying to understand the complexities of the universe. Looking for answers where there arent any.

Balls!

I'll just keep listening to 'Insomniac' by Green Day, and...
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I just sniffed some smelling sorts, wosssssshh. Fun times.
It's something I was suggested to use when I'm feeling depersonalised from the world. A way to bring me back to reality. It certainly provoked a reaction.

I need a job and some hobbies, my lifes tooo boring right now. But I have to take the first step to rediscover myself.

Saw my therapist today who...
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Today I feel so overwhelmingly bored. Its suffocating me. This feeling of not knowing what to do, and having everything just feel completely pointless and uninteresting. Nothing exites me. I just feel bored out my mind and like nothing will make this feeling go away.

I would like a mental revolution! Take back my sanity. And take back control of my life.

Dogma's on the tele, I fucking love Dogma, amazing movie. Jason Lee was an attractive dude before the moustache. And the Salma Hayek strip club scene is awesome. I could watch that movie over and over again. Genious.

Loving Green Day's new song 'know your enemy' too. Its...
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Today is sucking BIG TIME.

Having a horrible migrane. Which meant I couldnt do band rehearsal. Had an overwhelming panic attack. And suffering from some form of tenitis, where my ears just wont stop ringing, really high pictched alarm like noise.

It's official, today sucks balls.

Work in six hours.

BALLS!

Trying to sleep tonight without sleeping pills, first time in about a couple of months. I feel I can't sleep without them but I will try tonight.

Damn you insomnia, you will not beat me.

If anyone has any sleeping tips it would be much appreciated. And yes I have tried masturbation.

See you in the afternoon.

The footie tonight was brilliant. Dont deny it, just accept it. As a spurs fan I would have prefered it if Chelsea lost, but oh well, amazing game of football.

Now to play in the rain before bed.

Night night.

Today was full of to do lists and work.

Taught 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' and 'Whats my age again' at work today, I'm slowly turning these students into punk rockers. Hehe.

Now chilling at home watching American Dad, before I have a nice hot bath with Radox. Niceeeeeeeeee.

Working on a bank holiday monday sucks.