Yes! I've decided that I have a problem being either paranoid, or starved for attention. Either way, as a result, I've decided that the one person I've felt comfortable relying on for as long as I can remember, can't stand me any longer and needs a break from me, which naturally leads to my being massively depressed.
And the weather just changed, so I was feeling SO good before. I love the cold weather. I wish I could help feeling like crap all the time lately. Maybe the change in the weather will help, after all. It certain helped with my energy levels. I actually got a lot of cleaning done on my apartment today, went shopping, and cooked a real meal! At my apartment! This is a big deal, because despite how much I love to cook, I haven't been able to muster up the will to care enough to get out of bed and do it for quite some time. Actually, I usually haven't been able to muster up the will to get out of bed period, until about 5:30 PM lately, to do anything at all, so maybe this is an actual sign that I'm getting better.
Gods, I just can't stop obsessing. I've always had a desperate, powerful need to be loved, and with this particular person, even the slightest indication that they might not want desperately to know me, be around me, and revel in the glory that is me in every way just kills me. It's stupid, and arrogant, and completely unrealistic, but all the same, it rips my heart out and vomits in the bloody, icey hole. I can't stand it.
And the weather just changed, so I was feeling SO good before. I love the cold weather. I wish I could help feeling like crap all the time lately. Maybe the change in the weather will help, after all. It certain helped with my energy levels. I actually got a lot of cleaning done on my apartment today, went shopping, and cooked a real meal! At my apartment! This is a big deal, because despite how much I love to cook, I haven't been able to muster up the will to care enough to get out of bed and do it for quite some time. Actually, I usually haven't been able to muster up the will to get out of bed period, until about 5:30 PM lately, to do anything at all, so maybe this is an actual sign that I'm getting better.
Gods, I just can't stop obsessing. I've always had a desperate, powerful need to be loved, and with this particular person, even the slightest indication that they might not want desperately to know me, be around me, and revel in the glory that is me in every way just kills me. It's stupid, and arrogant, and completely unrealistic, but all the same, it rips my heart out and vomits in the bloody, icey hole. I can't stand it.
And I know how you feel with the not being able to get out of bed. I just went to school again after not going for 3 weeks 'cause I just couldn't drag myself out of bed.