razorshimmy

I'm so terribly confused? Are we not still friends? Is there bitterness between us?
The fear, of change more than anything else, seems to drive a wedge so consistently between myself and the rest of the world. At the risk of sounding maudlin or, gods forbid, emo, I seem to exist in a place that isn't made for the likes of me. But I guess, in the end, that's true of everyone. So, the fact that I'm handling it differently, that means that there's something wrong with me, doesn't it? I hadn't really thought about it that way.
The world, I suppose, is a certain way. The fact that I can't exist within it isn't the fault of the world, but the fault of me, and my personality. The fact that I cannot be satisfied, that I rage so constantly against everything that keeps, and will always keep me from being what I truly want to be, it's really my fault. I can't exist in the world that's grown up around me, independantly of me, and so how can I exist, period? Maybe I can't and my raging, my warring, in the end, will only result in my being crushed, like so many other warriors. I used to think that dying for what I believed in was good enough. Is it? Really?