razor13

just got home from hospital and i'm a lil' zoned and exhausted. yes, before i went down i figured out the friend thing and presto...i think i just had a near death experience but i am a lil' to busy to give it the recognition it deserves right now... i wiil admit to sending my x-wife strange e-mails on my blackberry from the emergency ward when my temp. broke 105 and my vitals went crazy, i cant remeber exactly what i said but i distinctly remember saying "see you in hell" at the end. she luives in las vegas so i know i will see her in hell. anyway, the narcissistic tendencies diagnosis was made by a prison psychiatrist based pretty much on his evalution of the fact that i ran a hustle out the laundry job i had where i would alter prison garb and tailor it, press it with extra starch for economic gain as they call it and since at the time i was at vacaville undergoing pharmeceutical drug therapy and testing for chemical restraints while i a was undergoing a psychological evaluation for a felony case i was involved in while serving on another conviction, whew, that was a lot of info in one sentence, then the psychiatrist simply put in my report that i had narcissistic tendencies on top of my "pathy" and my manic d, due to the fact that i took so much time to make my clothes appear neat and such, but really, truth be known, i was in it for the money and prison can be less fucked up if you can keep yourself busy. so ther is that in the proverbial nut shell. i have a few medical problems but i think i will be better with rest, and screw that buspar crap, i am never takin' that shit again. i am gonna be in long beach this weekend and i have to find a new apartment in l.a. because the musician in recovery that i sub-let to burned the inside of the apartment and now i am gettin' evicted, as if i needed that headache, the guy did less damage as a junky, that's all i'm sayin', but at least he has a job and can pay for his mistakes now, which is what its all about, making sure your ready when that bill comes for your trespasses, long as you can foot that bill, and that was my problem with my health, the bill is coming due on some shit i been doin' for years now and i just got to at least pay it in installments, there is a drought coming, and its a lil' different this time, this isn't just for the blackmarketeers this time, the whole world is lined up to participate, so be redy to pay as you go and save as many crumbs as you can, count all your toes before you jump in and all your toes when you climb out...try not to lose nothing but don't stop for nothing that is already lost...not all the puppies make it...