wow, i just wrote a bunch of crap and turn back to protools and the dub session was runnning into a snag so i had to reconfigure and "BOOM" i lost all the shit, wich is probably a good thing, altyhough its not like shit gets better, the main theme was ya lose, ya live, ya learn, or ya die and never make it to the next lesson. and it is never an act of fairness, just randomness, or such a byzantine,convoluted,detailed plan that its billions of years old and impossible to comprehend, and suits and uniforms are always in my way, oh yeah and i was thanking chupa and yves for helping put my pic in last night, i thuoght showin' a lil' would only be fair, actually chupa insisted that it be this pic, its her fave and would be mine cept the ex took it and it is during one of my famous detox right before i die episodes, i am such a lucky fucker sometimes, except for the spread on the browns/steelers, i don't know what the fuck i was thinking, never bet on wild card games, oh yeah the ex owns vegas right now, i didn't know what to do, so i told her that i had to kill the love, that is a weird feeling, for six years she was always there,through all the drugs, crimes, failures, hard times,and...positions. i guess that is why the pain has been so intense, i never lost this much this hard, worse thatn anything the man ever took from me. one my mama dogs had a false labor last night and i didn't get much sleep because of it. she's a real champion though, champion pups in a week, a hundred year bloodline, it is kinda a family responsibility to keep it going, but these dogs are a crazy amount of stress, gotta love em' though. hope everybody is facing the slow grind with as much strength and courage you can gather, i leave oakland 2-nite for n.y.c. and then its back to l.a. for the weekend and then back in the bay next week. maybe we'll pass each other in the night, sweet dreams and a good awakening, shed a lil' tear for the whores and da' gangsters, raze 