fuckin' pain, and no relief in sight, my ex has caused my credit to crash and now i know what they mean when they say sticky divorces cuz' i lost my cool over breakfast with a lawyer and grabbed him and it wasn't pretty and didn't help, but i come from people that don't get along with lawyers, bankers, landlords, fascists, wardens, executioners and especially...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
debrajean:
i am glad you are back
bijou:
your rage excites me
the drunken arguments hold no water, and protesting protests is a double negative, and now the hangover is vicious enough to have venom, and missing someone is never the proper impetus for public intoxication, six in the morning and you only play the sad dancehall to drive the fun out of your head cuz you can still taste her when you fall face down in...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
razor13:
mary is a knockout, besides all that other crap that is driving me insane right now, she is so fantastical that i have a feeling she is computer generated, which doesn't mean i really think that, i am just not very trusting of anything besides this sticky bud and this bottle of jameson, the guiness and bailey's might be computer generated, i am not sure about them either, just whiskey and weed, and this 70' gto i am about to race over mt. tamalpais in, runnin' against the devil...
brokenalice:
I'm glad that you won... and even gladder you're still alive.
There's nothing pixelized about me, baby.
There's nothing pixelized about me, baby.
i was going to smoke somethin' and drink somethin' cuz i was a lil' sad today, i woke up in the upper haight, drove through the park, took 19th ave. out to the g.g. bridge and through marin on the 101n hit the larkspur landing offramp, i used to live there, past san quentin, i also used to live there, thuogh its hard to call...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
nala:
hmm we're alot alike
tommysativa:
daaang ...sounds nice. if ya gonna breathe, a waterfall is definitely the place to be.
enJoy
daaang ...sounds nice. if ya gonna breathe, a waterfall is definitely the place to be.
enJoy
i have suffered injury and am having problems getting to communication devices, i will be a lil' delayed in writing for a moment, i suffer and dream of a better time soon...
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
razor13:
the thing about livin' life is that you almost have to incur some type of damage so you can activate the ability of your being to heal and adapt a;most as if it was an exercise to create a stronger constitution, or at least that makes me feel better about my recent brush with the reaper, you know it is good to kiss the ground some times after you've encountered some turbulence or a high-jacking attempt, or if, god forbid, you own hi-jacking attempt fails and ends in some lopsided gun battle with elite socom anti-terrorist units and you end up taking your own life because it would just be too much to take that you will be remembered, no matter what else you had accomplished in life, as the "blundering" hi-jacker. that was one of my opiated deleriums while i waited for the ooze to stop coming outta my head and the effects of the concussion to wear off. there are some things you don't mind losin' and then there is the shit you just can't give up or its like dying, and i have had too give up both kinds of things in the last couple of weeks, but new things come along and i just keep goin' cuz i just got to make it somewhere that i might be able to catch my breath and figure out a couple a things in world where life is seemed bent on overwhelming itself and that dream of a huge conflagration of armies that number in the millions seems like it could become a reality any minute or maybe that is just a new show they're getting ready for ratings week, but yeah, its not so bad being alive anyway, cuz there has gotta be some good lovin' goin' on during an armegeddon and i need some good lovin', dammit....it was so close and now it seems so far.... so yeah, go ahead with that prophecy fulfilling already....
[Edited on Mar 11, 2003]
[Edited on Mar 11, 2003]
hugoroark:
if the simultaneus lose/gain still allows you to write, it may be what the Dr. ordered.
Razor spelled backwards is the French equivelant...some bizzaro dude in-line skating around Paris....Rozar is his name, chicks dig him.
Razor spelled backwards is the French equivelant...some bizzaro dude in-line skating around Paris....Rozar is his name, chicks dig him.
smoke circled above her twisted grin as she wore down walls with biting remarks / she fed on the hostility that poured forth and offered her forbidden fruits without any hope of sanctuary or route to escape the blistering dialogue of her confirmed kills / there was never an offensive or even a particular commitment of attack / it always came in the polite form...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
linz:
fucking eautiful! did you get my email? love love love it! whats the word?
as life seems to slide rapidly down the side of a dark chasm, a lil' snag stops the progress for a moment, and you gather yourself there, and maybe even make an attempt at climbing as soon as you regain your wits and take stock of your losses, they were great this time around, and you will never be the same , but no one...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
clara:
Just because you're a stranger doesn't mean you have nothing to say. Thanks. 
swingkitten:
Dear razor13:
Add me to the list of girls who wuv you.
*shame*
Add me to the list of girls who wuv you.
*shame*
i am sick and i had just finished writin' something when the site went funny style and i lost it, oh well, this will have to do instead cuz' i am sick, did i mention sickness...my ex-wife tried to contact me as if she was concerned about my health, that's a laugh, considering she was never that concerned before, i think she think's she might...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
tommysativa:
heya ...no worries. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't being a pest. I well understand ...the offer is still good for whenever life eases down a bit for ya.
relationship stuff ...hoo, know that one. I'm approaching my third kid with a woman I knew only a month when the first one was conceived. We've been through some shit, too ...never felt the right vibe for marriage, but somehow we survive without a committment hanging over us. Mostly I think it's cuz we love our kids too much to handle being away from them ...that and we're too poor to split up.
p-town is an cool place to be ...lived there for many years before settling outside of Eugene. Ya gots to be OK with the rain, though.
you're right on... "...said I'm a living man. I've gots work to do. If you're not happy children, well then you must be blue ...i'm a rebel, soul rebel."
peace at ya
relationship stuff ...hoo, know that one. I'm approaching my third kid with a woman I knew only a month when the first one was conceived. We've been through some shit, too ...never felt the right vibe for marriage, but somehow we survive without a committment hanging over us. Mostly I think it's cuz we love our kids too much to handle being away from them ...that and we're too poor to split up.
p-town is an cool place to be ...lived there for many years before settling outside of Eugene. Ya gots to be OK with the rain, though.
you're right on... "...said I'm a living man. I've gots work to do. If you're not happy children, well then you must be blue ...i'm a rebel, soul rebel."
peace at ya
tommysativa:
oh yeah ...that's a trip about Brautigan's ex.
bang! and its run for your life again, cuz at the very least its harder to hit a moving target, so you try to stay ahead and that means dropping off and layin' low...glad that lonely ass holiday is over and now i can start marking time in different emotional pain markers, ahh well, boo hoo...violence is a plauge in my life, it seems to...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
escapegoat:
you scare me with truth.........fuck you!.......you rock
[Edited on Feb 19, 2003]
[Edited on Feb 19, 2003]
sylvain:
Hey mister I tried to contact you via e-mail and it got returned? Can you contact me so I can reply? I want to ask you something.
you have to always take life in deep as you can and hold it there til it hurts and thenyou rest and heal and take it all in again and you build a rythm that moves along to ancint percussions and you got to keep it in time wether the pace is fast or slow, the timing of the rythm is crucial and those primordial...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tommysativa:
hoo...
...that's quite a bit more than a temporary case of the snots.
It sounds like you're getting at least some good advice (milk thistle and whatnot). Retooling the partying regimen is the tough one ...that shit'll rip up a liver -'specially a weak one. A cool thing about livers though, is that they have an amazing capacity to regenerate if given the right means to do so (and if they're caught in time). Write me up a long e-mail (papa_tom@yahoo.com) and give me the run down on your history and things you've been doing (good and bad). I'll look it over and see if there is anything else you could do to keep ya kickin' along .
[Edited on Feb 14, 2003]
...that's quite a bit more than a temporary case of the snots.
It sounds like you're getting at least some good advice (milk thistle and whatnot). Retooling the partying regimen is the tough one ...that shit'll rip up a liver -'specially a weak one. A cool thing about livers though, is that they have an amazing capacity to regenerate if given the right means to do so (and if they're caught in time). Write me up a long e-mail (papa_tom@yahoo.com) and give me the run down on your history and things you've been doing (good and bad). I'll look it over and see if there is anything else you could do to keep ya kickin' along .
[Edited on Feb 14, 2003]
hugoroark:
Earth to Razor, earth to Razor...come in Razor, over
**ssschhhh**
Aaaahhh, Razor one three, come in Razor one three, over
**ssccchhhhh**
**ssschhhh**
Aaaahhh, Razor one three, come in Razor one three, over
**ssccchhhhh**
i have been sleeping a lot since the hospital, but i finally left the house in frisco and headed to oakland in the rain so i could see what the aftermath of my buisness getting destroyed last week was all about. it is bad, they confiscated a lot of things, my dsl is back up and i got my secret server functioning again, but fuck...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
brokenalice:
You know, that's what I thought you meant.
*kneels down before you*
*kneels down before you*
linz:
it's good to hear you're ok. please send me more! i think they are beautiful!
just got home from hospital and i'm a lil' zoned and exhausted. yes, before i went down i figured out the friend thing and presto...i think i just had a near death experience but i am a lil' to busy to give it the recognition it deserves right now... i wiil admit to sending my x-wife strange e-mails on my blackberry from the emergency ward...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
brokenalice:
I'd gladly take all of you...
hugoroark:
Per Babe comment...you're a Living Legend in these here parts I guess. Thats what I need, a place to live/tell new stories...this place is getting too repetitive.
obnoxiously insane tonight, so don't hold anything i say against me, a nervous breakdown weekend, i guess you could say my mental health is in question, but i am very self aware, or that i am a manic depressive sociopath with narcissistic tendencies, or at least that was the state of california's diagnosis, there is something i was supposed to do, but the medication affects...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
hugoroark:
You've taken that first step Gonzo by admitting friends into your SuicideGirl life...one step at a time.
Berzerker: Glorious Warriors of the Viking Kingdom who often lead the 1st charge in War. To overcome their fears they often took hallucinogenics...Stay strong young berzerker.
[Edited on Feb 10, 2003]
Berzerker: Glorious Warriors of the Viking Kingdom who often lead the 1st charge in War. To overcome their fears they often took hallucinogenics...Stay strong young berzerker.
[Edited on Feb 10, 2003]
sylvain:
I used to do the whole weekend thing too (or at least a few days whenever, because when you're unemployed when is the weekend really?) regret afterwards, sleep and picking up the pieces. Only to dust yourself off and think i survived that one this next one will better! It never is. 
Take care
Take care