I wanted to sit down and write this blog before I got heavily into my writing for the evening. I have to tell all my faithful readers (all 3 of you) that this weekend has been one of the most trying on my patience, and it has nothing to do with the Whitesox BLOWING a 2 run bottom of the ninth, two men out, nobody on lead!
The Funeral
If you have been a faithful reader of this blog then you know that my great aunt died last week. This is someone who was a part of my life when I was younger. I always saw her during the holidays and my family spent many nights at her house. She and my Grandmother were very close in life all the way up until the end. I just want to make that clear because what I am about to say may sound strange. In fact, I have no idea how to take any of it. Here is what happened. I went to her wake on Friday. I was supposed to be on a plane to Detroit--more on that later--but I moved the plane ticket back so that I could attend the wake. My Grandmother got a bit mad at me for moving the plane ticket and I have no idea why. So I show up there and greet a few of my second cousins whom I know very well. I notice immediately that the conversation is very awkward. The only one who it is not awkward with is the youngest sister, we will call her S. She comes over and greets me and offers to show me around. I do agree that most people probably aren't super close with their second cousins, and I am no exception, but as I said earlier I grew up knowing these people! I may not have seen them very often in the last 5-10 years but as a child to an adult I spent a decent amount of time with them. In fact, I helped one at one time get a job in computers and we talked frequently, and that was only a couple years ago. So S makes me feel ok and I go and talk to the various relatives to express my condolences. I then go sit next to my Grandmother and talk to her for a bit. She is really sad and I try to comfort her. She leaves me to go talk to her friends so I sit and wait for my parents to get there. I have absolutely NO problem sitting there by myself as I know the immediate family needs time to themselves. Now if I have never mentioned this before I have excellent hearing. I am the one who wears ear plugs at concerts to not damage their hearing
. In the front of the funeral parlor I hear my Dad's cousin talking about me sitting by myself. She and my second cousin's wife come over to 'entertain" me. The conversation is very awkward and they kind of just ask me about my life. I give them the information I want and then they excuse themselves. I guess they didn't really want to talk to me. So this whole time I am feeling like an outsider just because of how damned awkward everything is. I feel like I am not a part of this family and why the hell I am even here! Yes that's right! Why the hell was I there!?!? I started to ask myself that. It isn't that I wanted any gratitude from anyone that I was there but just the way they talked to me and the way I was looked at... bad auras all around. So my dad finally gets there and I go talk to him. At this point I haven't talked to his cousin yet--his cousin is my Great Aunt's son. He has been near the casket greeting people.
Tangent
I know the above was one paragraph but technically it is correct since it was one thought! So my Dad's cousin. This guy is SO strange. My dad tells me that his wife was in Florida when his Mother got sick and put into Hospice care. For those of you who aren't familiar with Hospice, it is a type of care that they put you in, usually at home, with the expectation that you will be dying soon. The last person I know who was in it didn't die for like 8 months. My Great Aunt only lasted a week. So with my Dad's cousin's wife being in Florida you would think that any sane person would just have her fly down to Chicago. Now my Great Aunt's brother and wife were flying in from Florida so my Dad's cousin's wife could have gone with them? Did this happen? No! Instead he DROVE to get her! Fucking Drove! (excuse the cursing, I really hate using it in the written word, but I am disgusted!) It took him five days to get his wife and come back and thank God that she was still alive when he got back. She died hours after his return. My Dad tried to ask why but the family just told him it was no big deal! NO BIG DEAL! Come on! If I ever have kids they better see me die, it is one of the burdens I feel they must carry. No one will be driving to Florida when I am on my death bed I promise you!
Ok back to the main story. My Dad and I go up to his cousin and say hello. He greets us and is friendly enough...
Tangent
Excuse my poor writing etiquette... We have no idea how my Great Aunt died! The family won't tell us, including my Grandmother. We don't know if it was peaceful, if she was in pain... God what is wrong with these people!
So my dad asks him what happened and he shrugs and as impassionate of a way as I have ever seen he says: "This came as no surprise". Then he goes on to tell us that she had a lump on her back and a week later she was gone. That was pretty much all he said! What kind of information was that?!? My dad's cousin!@!!@ Did I mention that?!? This man and my Dad were the BEST of friends growing up. They worked together for a long time and he stood up at my Dad's wedding! And now here he is a cold hearted bastard.
My Dad then goes to talk to my Grandmother and I go back and chat with S from before because I notice she is crying. I cheer her up a bit and we talk about when my Grandfather passed away and what it was like. She seems to appreciate the conversation. I then excuse myself and leave.
On the way home I am just so perplexed at how the whole thing went. I have no idea what to think of it. It is so crazy all I could think of is how I felt like an outsider...
As a side note, I talked to my Dad later and he felt the same way I did. He was a lot angrier, and rightfully so, then I was but he had no idea why everyone was being so goofy. Perhaps death brings more then sadness out in some people.
Detroit
After the wake I go back to my house with my Dad and grab my bags and head to the airport. I get there really early and getting through security is real fun. They are pointing at something in my bag as it is going through the X-ray machine and I just look at them impassively. They then pull my MP3 player out and the woman is eyeballing it suspiciously. As a note, I carry the Sony Net Walkman. Well because I don't have an IPOD they start to question it. I show her that it displays the time and plays music. She seems unconvinced and I almost have to get the headphones out of my bag before she apologizes and tells me to go ahead. So when I check in I wasn't given a seat on the plane. I don't even want to go into all the hassle I had to go through to get this ticket but at this point I had essentially paid for the ticket three times over with all of the changes I had made to it. So I go to customer service and I catch some pissed off person in front of me yelling about Detroit. It seems that the flight before mine was delayed. This doesn't concern me since mine shows on-time still. It is then that the night starts to go bad. They move my flight to delayed! I ask what is up and they say "We don't know if your flight will get out tonight" I then ask if I will be refunded ALL of my money, including the change fees, and the woman says "No, that is not our policy". After muttering some curses under my breath I go to the terminal. They change the terminal 4 times and I end up buying Internet access at the airport so that I can talk to my friend that I am seeing. I sit there for 5 hours and they keep pushing and pushing the flight back. The flight is now scheduled to leave at 1am and they are NOT giving people hotels if they cancel it because everyone at the terminal will be on the 6:00am if it IS canceled. I am so pissed at this point, and weary from being at the airport all day, that I just tell my friend I am going home. I then call my dad and have him pick me up. I get refunded some of my money and get home and crash.
As a side note: my body and soul is so weary that the next day I go to bed at 9:00pm. I think the last time I did that I was so sick that I couldn't help it!
The rest of the weekend I just crashed and relaxed and finished reading my book, which didn't have an ending that satisfied me. Oh well, it was great besides the ending. Take care all, I hope everyone had a great weekend I am gonna go to bed.
The Funeral
If you have been a faithful reader of this blog then you know that my great aunt died last week. This is someone who was a part of my life when I was younger. I always saw her during the holidays and my family spent many nights at her house. She and my Grandmother were very close in life all the way up until the end. I just want to make that clear because what I am about to say may sound strange. In fact, I have no idea how to take any of it. Here is what happened. I went to her wake on Friday. I was supposed to be on a plane to Detroit--more on that later--but I moved the plane ticket back so that I could attend the wake. My Grandmother got a bit mad at me for moving the plane ticket and I have no idea why. So I show up there and greet a few of my second cousins whom I know very well. I notice immediately that the conversation is very awkward. The only one who it is not awkward with is the youngest sister, we will call her S. She comes over and greets me and offers to show me around. I do agree that most people probably aren't super close with their second cousins, and I am no exception, but as I said earlier I grew up knowing these people! I may not have seen them very often in the last 5-10 years but as a child to an adult I spent a decent amount of time with them. In fact, I helped one at one time get a job in computers and we talked frequently, and that was only a couple years ago. So S makes me feel ok and I go and talk to the various relatives to express my condolences. I then go sit next to my Grandmother and talk to her for a bit. She is really sad and I try to comfort her. She leaves me to go talk to her friends so I sit and wait for my parents to get there. I have absolutely NO problem sitting there by myself as I know the immediate family needs time to themselves. Now if I have never mentioned this before I have excellent hearing. I am the one who wears ear plugs at concerts to not damage their hearing
. In the front of the funeral parlor I hear my Dad's cousin talking about me sitting by myself. She and my second cousin's wife come over to 'entertain" me. The conversation is very awkward and they kind of just ask me about my life. I give them the information I want and then they excuse themselves. I guess they didn't really want to talk to me. So this whole time I am feeling like an outsider just because of how damned awkward everything is. I feel like I am not a part of this family and why the hell I am even here! Yes that's right! Why the hell was I there!?!? I started to ask myself that. It isn't that I wanted any gratitude from anyone that I was there but just the way they talked to me and the way I was looked at... bad auras all around. So my dad finally gets there and I go talk to him. At this point I haven't talked to his cousin yet--his cousin is my Great Aunt's son. He has been near the casket greeting people. Tangent
I know the above was one paragraph but technically it is correct since it was one thought! So my Dad's cousin. This guy is SO strange. My dad tells me that his wife was in Florida when his Mother got sick and put into Hospice care. For those of you who aren't familiar with Hospice, it is a type of care that they put you in, usually at home, with the expectation that you will be dying soon. The last person I know who was in it didn't die for like 8 months. My Great Aunt only lasted a week. So with my Dad's cousin's wife being in Florida you would think that any sane person would just have her fly down to Chicago. Now my Great Aunt's brother and wife were flying in from Florida so my Dad's cousin's wife could have gone with them? Did this happen? No! Instead he DROVE to get her! Fucking Drove! (excuse the cursing, I really hate using it in the written word, but I am disgusted!) It took him five days to get his wife and come back and thank God that she was still alive when he got back. She died hours after his return. My Dad tried to ask why but the family just told him it was no big deal! NO BIG DEAL! Come on! If I ever have kids they better see me die, it is one of the burdens I feel they must carry. No one will be driving to Florida when I am on my death bed I promise you!
Ok back to the main story. My Dad and I go up to his cousin and say hello. He greets us and is friendly enough...
Tangent
Excuse my poor writing etiquette... We have no idea how my Great Aunt died! The family won't tell us, including my Grandmother. We don't know if it was peaceful, if she was in pain... God what is wrong with these people!
So my dad asks him what happened and he shrugs and as impassionate of a way as I have ever seen he says: "This came as no surprise". Then he goes on to tell us that she had a lump on her back and a week later she was gone. That was pretty much all he said! What kind of information was that?!? My dad's cousin!@!!@ Did I mention that?!? This man and my Dad were the BEST of friends growing up. They worked together for a long time and he stood up at my Dad's wedding! And now here he is a cold hearted bastard.
My Dad then goes to talk to my Grandmother and I go back and chat with S from before because I notice she is crying. I cheer her up a bit and we talk about when my Grandfather passed away and what it was like. She seems to appreciate the conversation. I then excuse myself and leave.
On the way home I am just so perplexed at how the whole thing went. I have no idea what to think of it. It is so crazy all I could think of is how I felt like an outsider...
As a side note, I talked to my Dad later and he felt the same way I did. He was a lot angrier, and rightfully so, then I was but he had no idea why everyone was being so goofy. Perhaps death brings more then sadness out in some people.
Detroit
After the wake I go back to my house with my Dad and grab my bags and head to the airport. I get there really early and getting through security is real fun. They are pointing at something in my bag as it is going through the X-ray machine and I just look at them impassively. They then pull my MP3 player out and the woman is eyeballing it suspiciously. As a note, I carry the Sony Net Walkman. Well because I don't have an IPOD they start to question it. I show her that it displays the time and plays music. She seems unconvinced and I almost have to get the headphones out of my bag before she apologizes and tells me to go ahead. So when I check in I wasn't given a seat on the plane. I don't even want to go into all the hassle I had to go through to get this ticket but at this point I had essentially paid for the ticket three times over with all of the changes I had made to it. So I go to customer service and I catch some pissed off person in front of me yelling about Detroit. It seems that the flight before mine was delayed. This doesn't concern me since mine shows on-time still. It is then that the night starts to go bad. They move my flight to delayed! I ask what is up and they say "We don't know if your flight will get out tonight" I then ask if I will be refunded ALL of my money, including the change fees, and the woman says "No, that is not our policy". After muttering some curses under my breath I go to the terminal. They change the terminal 4 times and I end up buying Internet access at the airport so that I can talk to my friend that I am seeing. I sit there for 5 hours and they keep pushing and pushing the flight back. The flight is now scheduled to leave at 1am and they are NOT giving people hotels if they cancel it because everyone at the terminal will be on the 6:00am if it IS canceled. I am so pissed at this point, and weary from being at the airport all day, that I just tell my friend I am going home. I then call my dad and have him pick me up. I get refunded some of my money and get home and crash.
As a side note: my body and soul is so weary that the next day I go to bed at 9:00pm. I think the last time I did that I was so sick that I couldn't help it!
The rest of the weekend I just crashed and relaxed and finished reading my book, which didn't have an ending that satisfied me. Oh well, it was great besides the ending. Take care all, I hope everyone had a great weekend I am gonna go to bed.
Thanks for ur comment on my blog
I want to go back to classes...
I need to do stuffs though!!!
Anyway take lots of care!!!
Hugs*