I’ve always thought the most beautiful women were those that stood out, had the different colored hair, covered in tattoos I dunno the whole “alternative scene” just gives off this vibe I’ve always loved .
I want to say it was my senior year in high school I discovered Suicide Girls, honestly I came across @circa on IG and thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on and then when I found out she was a SG I started research.
It may sound cocky but I’ve always had this underlying thought that I am damn good looking and I don’t want to die without my face being seen (weird I know) but I also suffer with horrible anxiety, depression, bi polar, and explosive disorder so I’ve never really been able to keep friends, or family around, I have a lot of times that are bad and I have tried to kill myself multiple times. Ive been abused by my father and still to this day am mentally and emotionally abused by him. My family weren’t emotional and didn’t show love the way most do, so I don’t know how to show love properly myself. I guess I just wanted to feel like I was someone and not so messed up.
well I wanted to wait until I got more tattoos before applying to become a hopeful, then I went down a really bad road with drugs, pills were my go to and K2 aka spice, along with anything else offered to me.
Then I got my life on track but then I got pregnant and at this point I felt this dream of being a SG was over. I still felt that for awhile after my son was born, but this year something just made me take the jump for it bc it is something I’ve wanted to do for so long and thankfully my boyfriend who’s pulled me out of most of my dark times is 100% supportive and pushed me to follow this goal of mine.
so March of this year I had a photoshoot done, I have no idea what I’m even doing but I had fun! I felt sexy and hadn’t in a long time and here I am now, some days I’m overwhelmed I’ll never make it in this line of work or become pink one day but then other days I feel I rock this and will become someone!
so thanks for reading my ramble, thanks to my fans and thanks to this amazing staff for giving me this opportunity!
@missy @rambo @vorpal
