Helllloooooo all! Hope you didn't forget about me...
I haven't posted a blog in quite a long time, and here I finally am to explain why! So this is what's going on with me.
My life has been a whirlwind for the past 4 months, and I'm finally getting it back together. I moved into a new flat about 2 months ago. I'm going to be honest, when I first moved in, I absolutely hated it. The only reason I chose this particular flat is because it's insanely cheap, and I was in quite a rush to find a new place. It's a shared house, and I have to share a bathroom and kitchen. Coming from a lifetime of being an only child, this is a bit hard for me. Not to mention it's pretty ghetto here. There's not really a better word to describe it than that. I had to rig a shower hose onto water spouts and use a makeshift showerhead holder to be able to shower here. My flatmate leaves dirty dishes and clothes out in the kitchen area. It took me two months to get internet installed when I had gotten the place under the assumption that it already had it and that it was included in my rent. Hence, why I haven't logged onto SuicideGirls in months. The only times I've had internet are at work and when I take my laptop out to coffee shops, neither of which are appropriate times to go onto a website full of hot naked tattooed girls. So that is the only reason I've been out of touch, not because I gave up on the site or because I don't love you all to death.
So, the reason why I moved to this new shitty place. My husband and I have split up. A few of you know this already, but I'm announcing it now to everyone else, because it finally feels right to I guess. Long story short, I've known him for over 7 years, dropped everything and married him and moved to a different country to be with him while he studied through grad school, and helped him raise his son, who I loved like my own. But man, do you not know a person until you live with them. It turned out, he wasn't a very nice man. I don't know why, but something changed and it couldn't work. He started treating me terribly and taking me for granted, I won't go into detail in our failed relationship because I'm beyond over it and it's not important anymore. Sure, sometimes a rage comes over me when I let myself think about it. About how much I gave to someone just for them to abandon me alone in a different country. But it really doesn't matter anymore, I made a mistake. I can't say I regret it though, because the decision to marry him and move here opened so many things up for me in my life. So many people have asked me why I don't just leave England and move back home. But going back feels a bit like giving up.
I have an awesome job running a tattoo shop. My modelling career has taken off quite a bit.I have a good group of friends now, after being a loner for so many years. And I've met someone. Yes, believe it or not I'm already dating someone else. It was an accident, it just happened. I didn't want to be in a relationship after what I've been through, but he came into my life and I'm not one to believe in fate, but there's really no other way to describe it. And if it weren't for him I probably would've spiraled out of control and gone down in flames. He's so great for me, and he really takes care of me.
As far as my living situation, I've taken a shitty situation and turned it into a sanctuary. I hung tapestries that cover all the walls, I set up my altar and ritual space, and I burn incense and oils every night to make it feel more like home. I don't mind living here at all now, and I feel like through all the shit, I've finally achieved happiness. I'm finally back on the horse after a pretty big fall.
So anyone wondering where I've been (bless all of you who messaged me checking in on me to see where I was), this has been what's going on. But now...I'm back! And to apologize for being away for so long, here's a particularly naughty photo of me shot by the always amazing Asa Photography.
I will be picking modelling back up now that I have the time for it in the near future. In fact, I've got a shoot next month with the insanely gorgeous @maggie_fracture, which will be shot by Asa as well! So you all are in for a treat.
Thanks so much for listening, and sticking around <3 xx
