rawr_ima_monster

For those that don't know, Margot_Dent recently moved into the room my previous roommate moved out of. It's only been 2 days and already life has gotten more stressful, strange and hilarious all at the same time.

The below episode is in regards to some Turkey.
This Turkey:

That above turkey is in my fridge. The fridge in the apartment where we both now live...and has been in that fridge for a long time:

But it's not a disgusting foul attracity, it actually looks, by all accounts "fine". It's kind of a scientific experiment, really.

So anyway, she knew about, and even shared an interest in the turkey, and it's amazing propreties of being really fucking old and yet still looking like perfectly normal turkey.
With all that in mind, enjoy this AIM conversation I had with her int he middle of the day today while I Was at work and she was at home not being at work and thinking of ways to make me crazy.

Margot_Dent: i ate the turkey
Margot_Dent: i think im dying.
DaveUnderTheBed: liar
Margot_Dent: i had to have just a little tiny piece, i didnt eat it all
Margot_Dent: like...it smelled fine
DaveUnderTheBed: I'll fucking kill you if you opened that turkey.
Margot_Dent: but oh man...it is NOT fine.
Margot_Dent: it was already open dude
DaveUnderTheBed: KILLL YOOUUU
Margot_Dent: dude it was already open
DaveUnderTheBed: you desecrated the turkey shrine.
Margot_Dent: dont kill me, the turkey is going to kill me
Margot_Dent: im so ill now
DaveUnderTheBed: that's what happens when you spurn the turkey gods.
DaveUnderTheBed: you really ate it?
Margot_Dent:
DaveUnderTheBed: ew.
Margot_Dent: ugh.....my stomach. seriously that turkeys fucked up
Margot_Dent: its like old drippey from athf
DaveUnderTheBed: should this have come as a surprise to me?
Margot_Dent: :- [
DaveUnderTheBed: It's like a million years old. I'd never dream of eating that shit.
Margot_Dent: well....it looked fine
DaveUnderTheBed: where you trying to kill yourself?
Margot_Dent: it looked and smelt fine! i was...curious
DaveUnderTheBed: I know it looked fine, we agreed on that, that was the novelty of it.
Margot_Dent: i know....i was too intrigued
DaveUnderTheBed: now I can't keep it in the fridge anymore because I know it's not fine.
DaveUnderTheBed: you've taken away a tiny fragile part of my life now
Margot_Dent: i mean....i didnt get sick until like 1 hour later
Margot_Dent: and i did eat like half a piece. maybe in smaller doses....
DaveUnderTheBed: sure, it still LOOKS fine, but the whole point was the mystery, that I didn't know if it was fine or not, and I never ever would, b ut it would always continue to look fine.
Margot_Dent: i love how theres no pity for the fact that im dying, just anger
DaveUnderTheBed: there's some
DaveUnderTheBed: and it's not real anger.
Margot_Dent: uuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhodsighsd dyiiiiiiiiiiiing
DaveUnderTheBed: but I'm not sure why you expect pity particularly. I mean you willfully ate very very very very very fucking old turkey.
Margot_Dent: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Margot_Dent: i wish i had now
Margot_Dent: my tummy hurts but im not fucking nuts, i didnt even touch the turkey
DaveUnderTheBed: so you're just a dirty fucking liar, then.
Margot_Dent: yup
Margot_Dent: that was amusing though, thanks
DaveUnderTheBed: let's review my initial reaction to this conversation:
Margot_Dent: and now the mystery is still intact
DaveUnderTheBed: "DaveUnderTheBed: liar "
Margot_Dent: and the turkey IS already open
DaveUnderTheBed: "Margot_Dent: i had to...
DaveUnderTheBed: "DaveUnderTheBed: you really ate it?
Margot_Dent:
DaveUnderTheBed: ew. "
Margot_Dent: i know the convo dude, i was there
DaveUnderTheBed: so what you're saying is you remember lying directly to me about the turkey.
Margot_Dent: i wasnt lying
Margot_Dent: i was joshin'
DaveUnderTheBed: I'm gonna have to go to the judges, but I'm pretty sure that's not really any different
DaveUnderTheBed: ...
Margot_Dent: youre just mad cause you fell for it
DaveUnderTheBed: hang on, they're deliberating...
Margot_Dent: *rolls eyes*
DaveUnderTheBed: ...yeah, yeah the judges say that's the same thing as lying, you're just beign a stupid GIRL, in fact, they said.
Margot_Dent: wow....the judges can kiss my ass.
DaveUnderTheBed: I don't really think that's appropriate in this kind of official environment.
Margot_Dent: in fact, they can lick my asshole.
DaveUnderTheBed: You're gonna get held in contempt, dude.
DaveUnderTheBed: and you know what they do in AIM jails?
DaveUnderTheBed: do you?
Margot_Dent: is it like Oz?
DaveUnderTheBed: They MAKE YOU EAT INCREDIBLY ODL FUCKIGN TURKEY!!!!!
Margot_Dent: NOOOOO
Margot_Dent: OH SWEET IRONY
DaveUnderTheBed: ok, I'm done now.
Margot_Dent: yup.
DaveUnderTheBed: See you tonight.
Margot_Dent: later.

-This is going to continue to be very odd and very strange.
Dave