rawr_ima_monster

Oh, "Check Engine" light, why do you want me to murder you? You know I don't have the time or money for this shit right now, I think you're just trying to push me over the edge into a straight-up homicidal rage. Is this how you get your kicks, you little yellow bastard? You sit there, waiting for me to pay all my bills and wait until just the right day when I start thinking "whew, sure am glad that rent check cleared" to suddenly pop up one evening and be all "HAHA sucker, my shit is all kinds of fucked up, you better get your wallet out and fix my ass, bitch!"
Do you think you could just, like, fix yourself and fuck off for a while, please? Seriously, you're not helping with this whole "Ooh, look at me, I'm all yellow and bright and causing alarm! You should totally have someone check me out" routine. It's rude and ill-timed.
-How about this, car: instead of you just turning on a light that goes "hey, hey hey, guess what I might be sick, fix me fix me fix me, asshole", you just take a few days off, fix whatever your fucking problem is yourself, and get back to me. You've got computers and shit, right? They can handle this one, can't they? I'm a reasonable man, I can work with you on this.
Dave