rawr_ima_monster

Wee, finished One of the Four paintings I am trying to finish by mid-next week. Gonna be a loooong weekend with no money-spending or out-going.

And now, last night's Job rant:
Blyech.
I should either be sleeping or working, and I'm doing neither. I'm starting to feel sleepy, though, so I think I'll try to make that happen earlier than usual instead of getting into the work I should reallly be doing, since I've got a thing to do in the morning earlier than usual.

I think I might finally be serious about wanting to leave my job, it just makes me sort of miserable to be there lately. Granted, that's mostly because it's been so slow but we're trying to keep busy and the things I have to do all day are just painful reminders of the fact that I'm not busy doing the usual work I'd be up to. I also get this sense of impending doom about the situation in general. The company is notorious for having these hills and crescents of work, and we just came off of an insane hill and it's sort of an industry-wide slowish time, but all kinds of things point to more and more reason to believe things are getting wierd. It's also difficult to cover for the fact that one of your bosses just doesn't give a shit when I'm starting to not really care myself. If I was really involved in making the projects I was working on, I could see being excited, but I don't feel like I am.

While I was in NY this weekend getting way to drunk with my brother at a wedding, I started yammering about leaving and getting a job with a certain company I have a connection to (a Network that makes Cartoons, perhaps) through the work I'm doing now, and talking flippantly about the change in location I suspect that company would most likely require. I should have quit talking, because he wouldn't shut up about it, and kept reminding me that I was so serious about it and seemed so fed up, and it's been lingering heavilly in my mind since.

And so, with that in mind, I basically told my boss that I really really wanted to be at the session we scheduled tomorrow for people from this company, and not stuck back at the office while she's off not caring about the project or the work. When I'm doing all the work to get these people's project done while she's out of the office and trying her best to get done with it with as little care or thought as possible, there's nothing I resent more than being stuck back in the office answering the phone while they're actually in the studio getting it done, where I enjoy feeling like we're actually making something, and I get feedback from these guys. I also feel like it's sort of an intentional cock-block to get any closer with the guys who I have the connection to, since the less face time I get with them the easier it is for them to forget who it is who's getting all the work done, and would really like to work more closely with them. I dunno, maybe I've made too much out of it, and they're just being nice, but it's wierd when you hear people you haven't met before tell you that other people at their company speak highly of you and the work you were doing on other projects. Maybe they're just being nice guys.

-I don't know...I think I'll probably chicken out and stay put awhile for the sake of the (for now) safety of it, but if the opportunity arises, or if there's any good way to do it without shooting myself in the foot, I'd really love to get the word out there that I'm interested in working directly with them. I just hate this dissatisfaction, and it feels like it's come on so suddenly and strongly.
Dave