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ravensfeather

Blacksburg

Member Since 2003

Followers 20 Following 27

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Monday Aug 02, 2004

Aug 1, 2004
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I just feel so fucking lost lately...i feel as if i am on this downward spiral that i have sucessfully drug myself out on for years and its just too fucking much. I am lacking in creativity, exspression, and even basic social interation skills, all things that i once was okay with...when people or things get close to me, or seem to be doing good i think i subconsciously tell myself that i am not good enough, or do dont deserve it, and push them or it away...i realized that i havent even done a ritual on the any of the sabbats for over a year now, and for me, wiccanism, paganism, the occult, and spiritualism really brought me out of my shell and made me a better person, and i could feel the life force all around me, i felt so close and conneted to the earth mother in all her light and darkness and it channeled through me, illuminated me, made me whole...and i have been slipping away from that, even the little things that i felt were important to me, like daily devotionals (basicly just prayer at certian times, like before bed) i havent been doing...i have this nice apt and i dont clean up after my fucking self, the kitchen is a wreck, i am always out of clean laundry because i dont do it, even though i have a fucking washer and dryer in the apt...i just feel so fucking lost, like ive dug myself so fucking deep that i dont know how the hell im going to get the fuck out of here...at least my anxiety is getting better, because i dont know if i could handle panic every five seconds anymore....i dont know, i just need to kick myself in the ass and fucking do something about it....im at a loss puke

ps...sorry for the fucking obnoxious bitching i just wrote...i just needed to get that out surreal
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kolic:
So how you holdin' up, my pretty little birdy?
Aug 11, 2004
punkinhead:
Don't apologise . . . getting something like this on the computer is the first step.

Its all about steps. First clean your place up, top to bottom. That will make you feel better, and if the feng shui people are to be believed it wil help clear your energy up.

Next start your devotions. Just do one, see how it makes you feel. Seek guidance from without and you will find it within.

Whatever you need to do you have already started. I hope that this is an extremely postivie time comming up for you.

be well, hollar if you need some reinforcement.

take it light,

ph
Aug 15, 2004

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