an article from the local paper concerning an incident at the place where I work (the two-week lag between incident & story is pretty usual for this town)
(certain identifying details have been obscured. by me. so ha.)
(also, I am not, to quote Mr. Dave Barry, making this up.)
(also, the hamfisted & often incoherent prose of said periodical has been retained as printed):...
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hee hee!--I'm gonna have a LOT of fun with this one. thank ham!