mothers day.
I had some teeth drilled & filled the other day. the night before, my aunt called to talk to Mom's boyfriend, who's been staying here for a while (long story). I mentioned that I was going to the dentist.
"Do you have a toothache or anything like that?" she asked.
"Nah. Just routine tooth maintenence."
"Alright. Last time your mom & I went to the dentist we swiped two vials of Novacaine, if you ever need any..."
that's the kind of person my mom was--yer in a dentists office, ya swipe some novacaine, & some lollipops & one of the big plaster teeth if you can get away with it. the type of person to spend a good hour giving a "make-over" to an obnoxious drunk burly biker dude who passed out at the bar (the town I grew up in was pretty small--there was just "the bar")--lipstick, blush, false eyelashes--the whole bit---
anyway, she's been gone for over half a year now, & we still haven't had a funeral or a memorial service, & the more time that passes, the harder it is to concieve of it.
our family has never been big on Death or mourning or breast-beating. you move on & you carry the past with you. it's hard to explain.
at present, mom's ashes are at my sisters, in a "Goofy" cookie jar, adorned with various stickers (if you knew my mom, you'd know this to be wholly appropriate, & one that she'd fully approve of) we (my sister & I) have talked about a trip to Reno to sprinkle some of her ashes on our fathers grave (he died--of an anuerism--when I was a year old & my sister was still in utero. he was a year older than I am now.)
life goes on. the dead are always with us.
it's a beautiful day.
love 'ya mom. always.
I had some teeth drilled & filled the other day. the night before, my aunt called to talk to Mom's boyfriend, who's been staying here for a while (long story). I mentioned that I was going to the dentist.
"Do you have a toothache or anything like that?" she asked.
"Nah. Just routine tooth maintenence."
"Alright. Last time your mom & I went to the dentist we swiped two vials of Novacaine, if you ever need any..."
that's the kind of person my mom was--yer in a dentists office, ya swipe some novacaine, & some lollipops & one of the big plaster teeth if you can get away with it. the type of person to spend a good hour giving a "make-over" to an obnoxious drunk burly biker dude who passed out at the bar (the town I grew up in was pretty small--there was just "the bar")--lipstick, blush, false eyelashes--the whole bit---
anyway, she's been gone for over half a year now, & we still haven't had a funeral or a memorial service, & the more time that passes, the harder it is to concieve of it.
our family has never been big on Death or mourning or breast-beating. you move on & you carry the past with you. it's hard to explain.
at present, mom's ashes are at my sisters, in a "Goofy" cookie jar, adorned with various stickers (if you knew my mom, you'd know this to be wholly appropriate, & one that she'd fully approve of) we (my sister & I) have talked about a trip to Reno to sprinkle some of her ashes on our fathers grave (he died--of an anuerism--when I was a year old & my sister was still in utero. he was a year older than I am now.)
life goes on. the dead are always with us.
it's a beautiful day.
love 'ya mom. always.
I read the sentence I'd just write.
I re-read it.
If it has any meaning, I can't figure out what it is.