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ratsonjulia

Lake Woebegone

Member Since 2002

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Monday Mar 10, 2003

Mar 10, 2003
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there are a lot of advantages to living in a small town.
the only one that I can think of at present is "plenty of parking'.

disadvantages are, likewise, legion.

I read somewhere that, due to the proliferation of security cameras & whatnot, there are few places that one can walk in a major city without being under constant surveillance.

the same applies to small towns, but its generally good ole fashioned eyeballs.

thing is, I did a very, very dumb thing the other night.

long story short, the other night & ran into a friend at bar. I've known her for about 3 years now & she fits into a category of women I know who I have a lot of fun with, can always rely on in a pinch for whatever,

but---

there's the thought in the back of my head "she wants to go to bed with me."

which is not a BAD thing, & I'm somewhat distrustful of women who do not want to go to bed with me (insane or a blood relation, obviously), but the analytical, reptillian part of my brain sets up little flags to the effect that altho I'd like to reciprocate--very very much--things tend to get wierd & scary---

a number of reasons:
1) I'm here in this town--well, until I can get out of this town. I don't want that to be any longer than needs be. thus avoidance of "entanglements". thus a loooong dry spell.

2) she's practically married. to a good friend.

3) I am almost pathologically incapable of lying. I can't lie. I can be very creative with the truth, when pressed, but that's about it.

anyway, I was driving home the other night & she was walking. I offered her a ride home. she asked if we could just go to my place. I, being an idiot, came home, where we discussed English Poetry & listened to "The Magic Flute"....nah, our clothes were off before we made it thru the doorway.

that was bad. falling asleep afterwards & waking up with full daylight outside was worse.
chiquita:
we are all humanoids, all 7 odd billion of us, just knockin around on this big earth trying to live, trying to feel good things, intersecting in all kinda ways with other humanoids knocking around on this rock...full of folly, weakness, strength, and flaws.

don't be too hard on yourself, cookie.
Mar 10, 2003

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