ratsonjulia

(experiment from a couple of days ago to transcribe a dream--or rather, that efferevescent portion retained upon waking--into my Palm Pilot):


Dream-thing

Columbine style situation
herded into a classroom with a hell of a lot of scared students

savage but strangely sympathetic pair of gunmen

they are laughing but scared

long & ragged dark hair

beards?

They ask a question

might have been

Who wants to die?

Or

Who doesnt want to die?

Mousy pretty girl

crying

red & blue make-up

(school-colors)

like warpaint
(running with tears & sweat)

stands up
says something about her son

she talks on the verge of hysteria
but tinged w/ something like
resignation

w/out a sound
a small hole appears
in her forehead

she doesnt appear to notice
but wipes at the trickle of blood
as she speaks

hysterical + resigned

she says

youve made this hole
in my head
havent you?

I dont feel any pain
there should be pain
I dont want to die w/out pain

her speech slows
& her eyes glaze

she sits back down
in a desk
& there is a little blood
at her nostrils

I am nearby
on a bed
it seems

more students are herded in
terrifyd/cowed

it seems every second will hold
someone
everyone
dissolving in a spray
of blood
bone--

I know how the story will end

but I dont know if I
will be there

& I dont know
if this is a movie or not

then the gun
(m-16)
-the muzzle of it-
is pressed
gently
against my temple

I am aware that
I am a large boy
(a jock?)

they call me
Mole-hill
--a pun on my name?my size?

The trigger is pulled
amid laughter

empty harmless click
Im still not sure
if this is a movie or not

if Mole-hill should be
pretend-dead

an explosion of color
to be added
during editing

or this is luck
a joke
or what

then a second empty click

thats all I remember